So, I was getting on a plane, and the pilot does his usual speech talking about altitude and what not with the microphone, and he forgets to turn it off, so after the speech I heard him and the co pilot talking about what they were doing after work, and whatnot, then the pilot said he was dying for a blowjob and a coffee, so a stewardess ran to the pilots cabin, and then left about 15 minutes later, and the pilot shouted "Next time don't forget the coffee!"
The north and south towers got into an argument.
The south tower said “we will talk about this when we are on the ground”
friend: Hi! me: who are you? friend: ...your friend? me: what are you talking about the doctor already said I couldn’t have any
What is the difference between men and women? Men have 2 heads, women have 4 lips because men do all the thinking, and women do all the talking.
I went to the grocery and they said I did something wrong but I thought they were talking about a food so I said wrong yummy
What is is called when you talk in panera bread
Panera said
What did a tree say to the tomato?
Nothing! Trees don't talk silly.
What do you call a hamburger that can talk & walk? Funny weird walkie hambuger & talkie cute hambuger. lol
Why do- wait, what am i saying, what am I talking about?
Tj hair line so far back ho friends don't even want to talk to him
yo mama so fat when she walks the earth talks
lmao
Think about how many more girls we guys could get if we talked to the how we talk to other guys like when they say can I borrow a pencil you say you can borrow this hard wood dick
Man walks in to his bedroom where his wish is carrying a sheep under his arm and says this is the pig I've been fucking.wife says that's not a pig that's a sheep dumbass.husband says I was talking to the sheep
If someone says nobody asked you could say " well nobody asked for you to talk".
Farmer walks into his bedroom with his wife in bed with a sheep under his arm says this is the pig I'm fucking she say u idiot that's a sheep he says shut up I wasn't talking to you
My friend has glasses and we were talking about owls, and i told my friend to give a owl glasses. i told my friend that it'd be a spectacled owl! (`~look up spectacled owl~`)
Q:What did the ocean say to the boy? A:Nothing!Oceans don ́t talk silly!
Teacher says okay class today were gonna talk about what everyone wants to be when they grow up Little Johnny how about you go first. Little jonny: " I want to be a speed bump when I grow up!"
Kid: Imagine being an orphan!
Parents: Look who's talking, not you cause you ain't got no one to talk to! *vanishes*
Kid: WAIT WHAT!
A wife and husband go to a barn, the husband picks up a goat and says “Look at this pig I have to sleep with every night.” The wife says “Honey that’s a goat.” The husband replies with “I was talking to the goat.”
