Talk jokes

A teenage guy is taking a girl to a dance. First, he goes to buy her flowers, but there’s a really long line at the florist. Finally, he buys them.

Then, he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a really long line for that, too. After a few hours, he gets the tux.

That night, he picks up the girl and they go to the school for the dance. There’s a long line to get in that goes halfway around the school. A while later, they finally get in. They dance and talk for a while, then the guy gets thirsty, so he goes over to the table to get punch. There is no punch line.

Hi guys, so today I have not thought of a joke, and I'm not really sure what to do, so I thought I would do kinda a blog sort of thing, so hope you enjoy, and you don't have to read this!

So I woke up this morning and heard this weird noise, and it was my dad building me a new gymnastics bar so I can have uneven bars, which I am so excited about! And I am so glad that you guys have been nice and liking my jokes and stuff, but also, make sure to comment below if you want to tell me what kind of jokes you want and what you want me to do, and also, feel free to talk to me! Love y'all!!!

I accidentally handed my wife a glue stick instead of a chapstick. She still isn't talking to me.

My wife left a note on the fridge. The note read, "It's not working." I don't know what she's talking about. I opened the fridge, and it worked fine!

Did you hear the one about the deaf person?

Me: No.

That's because they can't hear, so they don't talk.

Where do sex addicts go when they need to talk? Hoe-and-Tell.

Unknown be like: "Wah wah, I'm too scared to talk to girls in real life, so I bully random tweens I find online to make me feel better... what a shame."

What do you get if you talk to a Down syndrome person face to face at close distance?

Soaked...

I like porn a lot. I was wondering if you guys can talk to me.

If Hillary and Biden got locked in a room together, all they would talk about is how to ruin America and make a plan to steal children.

Did you hear about the orphan who ran away from home?

Wait a minute! What am I talking about?

Can watersharky and Gwen comment on this? I need to talk to you guys.

What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?

Nothing, because fish can't talk.

My teacher asked me what my favorite number was yesterday, and I said 2977. I chose 91 for my football jersey number and Sharpied a 1 after the other 1, and my teacher Mr. Jackson's dad died in 9/11, and when he was talking about it Friday the 9th, I threw a paper airplane at him and got suspended for 3 days starting Monday.

A man had moved to a new country with his dog and with basic understanding of the language. One day he heard people talking about a place for dogs, so he took his dog there, telling them he wanted his dog to be groomed.

The man behind the counter responded with "yes happy dog, come back in little hours." So the man left and came back a couple hours later. When he asked about his dog, he was given a box of jerky. He found out "Happy Dog" was the name of the place where dogs become food.

One day, inexplicably, my talking parrot started insulting me. He called me an idiot, a fool, a jerk, stupid, and a variety of other nasty names. I warned the squawker to cease, but to no avian avail. Fed up, I finally flipped the foul-mouthed feather-brain into the freezer...but after about 15 seconds, I relented and let him out.

"I'm so sorry," he declared! "I don't know what came over me, and realize I shouldn't have said those terrible things. I hope you can forgive me, and I promise never to do it again! By the way...what did the chicken do?" 🐔😂

Guy 1: P-gay or T-gay?

Guy 2: P-gay sounds cooler.

Guy 1: Yeah me too. I don't like P-ewDiePie, always love T-series.

Guy 2: Omg what did i just say? I wasn't even knowing what were you talking about :<

Guy 1: Like I do care :$

Guy 3: But I do care :<

Guy 1: F*ck you.

Guy 3: Do it.

Guy 2: But you do care about me.

Guy 3: No.

Guy 2: F*ck you.

Guy 3: Do it.

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

What did the computer say to the other computer? “Well, tech-ically we can’t talk.”

Me at an orphanage: I need to talk.

Orphan: My parents!

Me: You know that word?

Funny how "Hawking" rhymes with "talking" and "walking," and he can't do either.

And the first four letters of his Christian name spell "step," and he also can't do that.