New Surprise Jokes - Page 9 - Worst Jokes Ever

Once, an orphan purposely fell out of a tree. He forgot his parents wouldn't catch him.

Me: Hey, do you want to see my grandma?

Friend: Yeah, sure.

Me: *pulls out gun*

Me- *crying in the shower*

Also me- *why is my toaster in here?*

"Kidnapping is just surprise adoption, congrats! You are now all my children! Just hop into the portal that leads to the Lust Ring in Hell!"

I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere!

When I see lovers' names carved on a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.

I was going on a date when I decided to put on Penaldo’s PR7 cologne to smell good. As I put on the cologne, my skin started to turn invisible!

I then realized the cologne had made me turn into a ghost 👻. Shame on you, Penaldo, for ruining my date 😡!

If you're looking at this, then look behind you!

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill's candy. Jack got a shock and a mouth full of cock because Jill's real name is Randy.

My mother was so sad after my grandpa's death, she went into the bathroom with my uncle, and I could hear their moans of sorrow. She then surprised me later on, saying that she was pregnant.

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Yo mum." "Yo mum who?" "Yo mum is watching you wank right now."

A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks, "Where'd you get that lovely thing?"

"Africa," the parrot replied.

I was on the Official Cristiano Ronaldo website when suddenly my Anti-Virus software showed an alert on my screen! The notification read "WARNING: FRAUD DETECTED!" I was shocked but not surprised.

Penaldo has been finished for years after all, and he often ghosts in big games.

Little Johnny said he wanted a coffee, so his mom said he can have one.

He got an espresso, not knowing "depresso" came with it.

I asked my mom what her biggest regret was for a project at school, and she said, "Oh, go look in the bathroom above the sink..." There was a mirror.

I took my son to a driver's school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive a car because he ran over my ex on "accident."

(I gotta go pay him out of jail!)