A guy walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says: If i can suprise you, i get a free drink. The bartender was unsure but agreed. The guy pulled up a 30cm long pianist out of his pocket and he starts to play The bartender was suprised and gave the guy a free drink The guy then sais: You see, i have a little wizard in my pocket that grants wishes, can i get another free drink if you get a free wish? The bartender agrees without hesitation The bartender wishes for a 1000 bucks, but he gets a 1000 ducks WTF! the man shouts. The guy answered: Did you think i wanted a 30cm long pianist
How to surprise a blind man; put a plunger in the toilet :)
so little johnny seen a robbery so he tried to stop the robber to the robbers surprise he was amazed so johnny got 20 shots to the head the end
When my dad left he said he would bring back the milk but 20 years later he only came with my new sister and eggs. And I confronted him and he said "I used all the milk to make your sister"
We just found out Grandpa is addicted to Viagra. No one is taking it harder than Grandma.
Are you happy to see me or is that a bomb strapped to your chest and detonator in your hand?
A man walks into a bar and there is a line of people waiting to punch him. Yeah that was the punch line.
This guy called anonymous said he's going to own me like he did my mum, joke's on him, I have two dads.
I was shocked when I found out my toaster wasn't waterproof.
A man runs into a church and shouts are there any dawarf nuns in the monsistary,the pope said no causing the man to say to his friend I told you you fucked a penguin
For our anniversary, I gave my girlfriend a picture of me inside a pistachio. But that’s just me in a nutshell.
What’s similar between a pregnant 12 year old and the fetus inside of her? They’re both thinking oh shit my mums gonna kill me!
Family feud after finding out about Alabama
How do you surprise a blind guy.
Say, "Surprise"
uR Adoptodded
what does a pregnant 14 year old and her foetus? theyre both thinking; oh sh@t my moms gonna kill me!
A dad told his son never to hit girls so the sun repeid i promis. When the sun got older he was doing the dirty with "a girl " and the girl sais spank me daddy.... and the sons repsonds my dad said never to hit a girl. and the "girl" takes of the wig and its his dad and the dad said good job son!.. Son:...... um
ok this isn't a joke but it's funny.
Roses are red, nuts are brown, Skirts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin, when it's stiff, stick it in. It goes in dry, comes out wet, the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag, It's not what you think, it's a lipton tea bag.
Get your mind out of the gutter.
Minecraft YouTube but I can sing Believer!
YouTube but I making a first video in YouTube.
And I record all the Minecraft Videos and a upload.
Ooohh! To try it and a upload. Ooohh!
I've been recorded to streaming, couple more sleeps to do the dreaming.
I finally get to the stronghold, and if you told me you told me you told me you told me.
Place some more ender eyes, and it's time to big surprise.
It's time to kill the ender dragon, go in to the.
END!
Take that crystal, take that crystal, Believer, Believer!
Knock him down, Knock him down, Believer, Believer!
Axe it's head, Axe it's head.
Axe it's head defeat him.
SUBSCRIBE!!!
The reason why God and Jesus have eternal life and the power, aka ( holy spirit) is to control us , take our free will, and our eternal life, which is our heaven. Our time! Just to show up, in the nick of time for the second coming in full costume ready to judge us. Them spending a lifetime preparing thier big speach, thier excuse of them hiding this whole time. Lol, Surprise! Joke being on them. As we all stand there and are there to judge them. Doing what they said they were made for. Taking our eternal life back from satan and the devil and sending them to thier home they created themselves! HELL! P.S. With a little extra punishments !
