Suicide jokes

I help suicidal people.

BTW verb not adjective.

If a baby dies in the womb, is it considered suicide?

A priest sees a man about to commit suicide. The man says, "I have nothing to live for here. I will die, go to Heaven, and get 72 virgins." Then the priest says, "No need for this. I will take you to the local elementary school."

What was Kurt Cobain's biggest flaw?

He had a short temper and lost his head over everything.

What’s the easiest way to dig a hole to China?

Through my arm.

Why did the emo kid try [to] high five the tree?

So it can hang him.

When there's no piñata at the party, but the emo kid just hung himself.

You know how we all have different sides? Well, I have a suicidal side. (Here a bang in the next room.) Oh well, not anymore :)

Did you hear about the emo kid that tried to high-five a tree? It left him hanging.

What does a physicist call it when a suicidal person is high up? Potential energy.

What hit the ground first in a tree, a leaf or an emo kid?

The leaf, because an emo kid got a rope to save him!

What is the easiest way to get into a busy hospital? Try to commit suicide.

(YES I KNOW I SPELLED SCUCIDE WRONG)

What does a depressed kid who loves geometry use to kill themself?

A hypoteNUSE!

Are you going to jump? Can I jump with you?

What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair? (RC-XD)

Ever had that feeling that suicidal people are a big contributor to the razor blade industry?

Well, they aren't.

Why?

They aren't repeated customers.

I was riding my bike when I saw a man's head in the wheel. It was mine.

What's the difference between an emo kid and an apple?

One hits the ground when they fall from the tree.

Kid walks in the door. "Mommy and Daddy, I'm home." Mommy and Daddy meanwhile in their room moaning. Kid runs to them thinking they're hurt and sees something he definitely shouldn't have.

10 minutes later, [he] kills himself.

Hey I have a joke for you.

My life hahah. I wanna die.