Suicide jokes
When there's no piñata at the party, but the emo kid just hung himself.
Why did the emo kid try [to] high five the tree?
So it can hang him.
What’s the easiest way to dig a hole to China?
Through my arm.
You know how we all have different sides? Well, I have a suicidal side. (Here a bang in the next room.) Oh well, not anymore :)
Did you hear about the emo kid that tried to high-five a tree? It left him hanging.
Memes
What does a physicist call it when a suicidal person is high up? Potential energy.
What hit the ground first in a tree, a leaf or an emo kid?
The leaf, because an emo kid got a rope to save him!
Are you going to jump? Can I jump with you?
What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair? (RC-XD)
What does a depressed kid who loves geometry use to kill themself?
A hypoteNUSE!
What is the easiest way to get into a busy hospital? Try to commit suicide.
(YES I KNOW I SPELLED SCUCIDE WRONG)
Ever had that feeling that suicidal people are a big contributor to the razor blade industry?
Well, they aren't.
Why?
They aren't repeated customers.
Did you know Kurt had dandruff?
Found his head and shoulders behind the couch.
My older sister said she was gonna shoot herself, so I did it for her.
Being asked for advice after a failed suicide attempt:
"What advice do you have for people out there?"
As a suicide professional, don't try this at home.
An apple and an emo are at the top of a tree, they both fall at the same time.
Who hit the ground first?
The apple won because the emo had forgotten to connect the internet.
What did the tree do to the emo?
He left him hanging.
Kid walks in the door. "Mommy and Daddy, I'm home." Mommy and Daddy meanwhile in their room moaning. Kid runs to them thinking they're hurt and sees something he definitely shouldn't have.
10 minutes later, [he] kills himself.
How did Capetian Hook kill himself? He wiped his butt with the wrong hand.
What's the difference between an emo kid and an apple?
One hits the ground when they fall from the tree.