Suicide jokes

What do you call a group of emos?

Suicide Squad.

Don't commit suicide, that would make DJUNGELSKOG sad!

What's bigger than Kurt Cobain's head?

What do you mean? He doesn't have one.

I thought about learning skydiving without having to afford gear. But the highest place I got is my apartment window.

Why did the suicidal person cross the road?

To slow down traffic!

One day, there are friends having fun.

Hours later, one of the friends, Alice, wanted to leave and said, "Cya guys, I'm just gonna hang in the tree and have some fresh air."

And they all agree.

Hours go by, and the group of friends are ready to go home, but then they see a tree in the distance that looks like someone is hanging on the tree with a tight rope.

I help suicidal people.

BTW verb not adjective.

If a baby dies in the womb, is it considered suicide?

A priest sees a man about to commit suicide. The man says, "I have nothing to live for here. I will die, go to Heaven, and get 72 virgins." Then the priest says, "No need for this. I will take you to the local elementary school."

When there's no piñata at the party, but the emo kid just hung himself.

Why did the emo kid try [to] high five the tree?

So it can hang him.

What was Kurt Cobain's biggest flaw?

He had a short temper and lost his head over everything.

What’s the easiest way to dig a hole to China?

Through my arm.

Did you hear about the emo kid that tried to high-five a tree? It left him hanging.

You know how we all have different sides? Well, I have a suicidal side. (Here a bang in the next room.) Oh well, not anymore :)

Noose: "Hey man, wanna hang out?"

Corpse: "Sorry man, I'm dead inside."

An apple and an emo are at the top of a tree, they both fall at the same time.

Who hit the ground first?

The apple won because the emo had forgotten to connect the internet.

My older sister said she was gonna shoot herself, so I did it for her.

What did the tree do to the emo?

He left him hanging.

What's the difference between an emo kid and an apple?

One hits the ground when they fall from the tree.