Suicide jokes

I thought about learning skydiving without having to afford gear. But the highest place I got is my apartment window.

One day a man buys a rope to commit suicide, but his friend stops him.

They go to a school with lots of happy kids. The guy feels better after a mag.

I saw someone who was about to jump off a bridge. They were wearing a Nike "JUST DO IT" shirt.

What do you call a group of emos?

Suicide Squad.

To start off this Christmas season, I'ma make a list of what I want, then I'ma make plans with my family, then to start off my decorations, I'ma start with the first ornament and hang myself.

An emo and a leaf fall out of a tree. Which hits the ground first? The leaf. The rope stopped the emo.

I be ready to commit suicide.

But when it comes to jumping out my window, I'm scared ash.

Why are there so few Arab soldiers? Because they always commit suicide on their first day.

One day, there are friends having fun.

Hours later, one of the friends, Alice, wanted to leave and said, "Cya guys, I'm just gonna hang in the tree and have some fresh air."

And they all agree.

Hours go by, and the group of friends are ready to go home, but then they see a tree in the distance that looks like someone is hanging on the tree with a tight rope.

I help suicidal people.

BTW verb not adjective.

If a baby dies in the womb, is it considered suicide?

A priest sees a man about to commit suicide. The man says, "I have nothing to live for here. I will die, go to Heaven, and get 72 virgins." Then the priest says, "No need for this. I will take you to the local elementary school."

What’s the easiest way to dig a hole to China?

Through my arm.

What was Kurt Cobain's biggest flaw?

He had a short temper and lost his head over everything.

When there's no piñata at the party, but the emo kid just hung himself.

Why did the emo kid try [to] high five the tree?

So it can hang him.

Did you hear about the emo kid that tried to high-five a tree? It left him hanging.

You know how we all have different sides? Well, I have a suicidal side. (Here a bang in the next room.) Oh well, not anymore :)

What does a physicist call it when a suicidal person is high up? Potential energy.

I keep hearing "Obesity kills."

My only question is "Why is it taking so long?"