Suicide jokes
Who was most surprised by Jeffrey Epstein's suicide?
Jeffrey Epstein.
Everyone: "Wow, you're so nice and perfect! Your life must be great!"
*Reality of having depression* Me: "Oh yeah, I guess. 😀"
I don't get people who treat you like shit and cross your boundaries, then are surprised when you have depression.
It's because of them after all. 🥰✨️
Depressed caller: "I'm done with everything!"
Responder: "Please hang on!"
Isn't it ironic that the actually nice people tend to be suicidal?
Think about it: suicide exists to make sure bad people bother each other instead.
If being near immortal was a normal thing, I bet wanting to die would've been too.
What hit the ground first in a tree, a leaf or an emo kid?
The leaf, because an emo kid got a rope to save him!
Ever had that feeling that suicidal people are a big contributor to the razor blade industry?
Well, they aren't.
Why?
They aren't repeated customers.
What is the easiest way to get into a busy hospital? Try to commit suicide.
(YES I KNOW I SPELLED SCUCIDE WRONG)
Are you going to jump? Can I jump with you?
What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair? (RC-XD)
I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, and they got excited and asked if I could drive a B-52.
I was riding my bike when I saw a man's head in the wheel. It was mine.
Hey I have a joke for you.
My life hahah. I wanna die.
Yo mama is so ugly, her self-portraits hanged themselves.
How did Capetian Hook kill himself? He wiped his butt with the wrong hand.
My older sister said she was gonna shoot herself, so I did it for her.
What did the tree do to the emo?
He left him hanging.
What's the difference between an emo kid and an apple?
One hits the ground when they fall from the tree.
Dad: I heard an actor killed themselves with a knife. It was Reese something.
Mom: Witherspoon.
Dad: No, with a knife, you dummy!