Suicide

Suicide jokes

Ground

    • Are you a toaster? 'Cause I wanna take a bath with you.

    Are you a knife? 'Cause you make me wanna KMS.

    Are you a painting? 'Cause I hang you.

    Are you the flu? 'Cause you make me wanna hurl.

    Are you a newspaper? 'Cause you have new problems every day.

    Are you the ground? 'Cause I'm six feet deep in you ;)

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    • Suicide memes

    Dish

    • I decided that I'll end it all, but when I drove off, I remembered I forgot to do the dishes.

    Ego

    • If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb up to the top of your ego and jump to your IQ.

  • 21

    • Batman

    • Robin asks Batman what he is getting his parents for Christmas. Batman gets mad, slaps Robin, and runs off crying.

    Now you know why Batman Beyond was born when Bruce died. cause of death: suicide

  • 0

    • Bang

    • "Go big or go home," that's what some people say.

    "Go loud and proud," that's what other people say.

    "Go out with a big, loud bang!" that's what I say.

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    • Engineering

    • A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW exhaust, but his engine failed.

    This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.

  • 1

    • Blonde joke

    • A blonde really got tired of all blonde jokes and decided to hang herself in the bathroom. As she locked the door, she yelled at her husband, "I'm hanging myself because I'm tired of jokes about us blondes being stupid!" Her husband broke into the bathroom and saw his wife with a rope tied on her toe. The husband said, "I thought you were hanging yourself." She said, "Yes, I am!" The husband replied, "Usually when people hang themselves, they tie the rope around their neck, so why is yours tied on your toe?" She said, "I tried that, but I couldn't breathe."

  • 1