Suicide jokes
What does a depressed kid who loves geometry use to kill themself?
A hypoteNUSE!
What is the easiest way to get into a busy hospital? Try to commit suicide.
(YES I KNOW I SPELLED SCUCIDE WRONG)
Ever had that feeling that suicidal people are a big contributor to the razor blade industry?
Well, they aren't.
Why?
They aren't repeated customers.
What does a physicist call it when a suicidal person is high up? Potential energy.
I told my therapist I feel suicidal. He charged me in advance.
Lemme just say one thing:
Depression is not funny. Two of my best friends have it, and it's actually quite hard to watch them suffer with it. They cry all the time, they get upset all the time, they either have wanted to or still do want to kill themselves. It's really not funny to joke about depression.
Rape victim: I want to die.
Man: Hang in there.
Rape victim: That's what I'll do, I'll hang myself.
My dad: You better wear flip-flops everywhere.
Suicidal son: Goes to crack alley.
What happened when the depressed kid went to give it a high five?
It left him hanging.
What is an emo's most hated game? Hangman.
Because it's rubbing it in their face that they can't hang themselves.
This guy came into my library a year ago and borrowed a book named "How to Commit Suicide." He never returned it.
A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself, and his friend says, "Find Jesus instead, he'll help you!"
And then the man says, "It's pretty hard to 'get help' from something that doesn't exist."
Why is the record for longest jump kept by an emo?
They're still hanging.
Why did Hitler kill himself?
Why did the orphan kill itself?
Because he's depressed about no family.
Why did the emo kid hate the tree?
It left him hanging.
Why did the orphan die?
He killed himself because the lack of a support system made him depressed.
Why do trees never call emo kids? Because they always hang up on them.
Me lol.
I wish I was at a Western bar; then I would get shot.