Suicide jokes

My suicidal friend said he liked trains, so we took him to the tracks.

My depressed friend said he wanted to jump off of a bridge but he didn’t wanna commit suicide. I told him if you jump and yell "parkour," it’ll just be a failed stunt.

What do you call a gay kid that killed himself?

A byebyesexual.

What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair?

An RCXD (remote control explosive).

I've been hit by several things in my life.

Sadly, never a car.

Don't do suicide shit. Nearly killed me, tbh. 🙏🙏🙏🙏

A depressed man buys a gun for suicide, but then thinks, "maybe I shouldn't be doing this," and asks a friend for help. He returns with a rope.

People always often say to someone who are thinking about suicide that's the easy way out. Don't give up! All I say is I'm not giving up, just I'm giving in, and does it really seem like it's the easiest way out? I don't think so, it's probably the hardest if you ask me, or I would have done it already, but someone's got to do it.

I told my mom to get rope for a project, and when she got home, I got the good old coat hanger out and hung myself up.

My only friend who actually cares: "Stop making suicide jokes, I’m really concerned!"

Me: Okay, I’ll cut it out.

What tree is every emo kid trying to find?

The hanging tree.

If you unironically think someone who killed themselves should have their body in jail, you are honestly such a fucking embarrassment to humanity.

Wanna know why I don’t make suicidal jokes?

Because I am one.

"When is the best time to commit suicide?"

Ate a Glock in the morning.

There are too many suicidal people in this world. I’m going to make sure there is at least one less.

The depressed kid walked into the counselor's office.

"I'm feeling like killing myself," he said.

"Oh no! Don't worry, sweetie, just hang in there!," the counselor responded.

I was trying to hang the lights when I accidentally kicked the chair.

I would go suck some titties, but I’d rather die from being shot than cancer.

An emo man asked a librarian for a suicide book. She said no because you won't bring it back.

Depressed procrastinators feel like they wanna kill themselves sometime soon.