Suicide jokes
Preventing suicide is best done by committing it.
A man walks into a pharmacy and buys multiple containers of Tylenol, and the clerk asks why he's buying all of these. He replies with, "I'm playing 1 pill eat 100."
What is a suicidal horny person's job?
A butcher.
Poop and balls through the walls!
How do you know all suicide bombers self-identify as being old?
They are all boomers in the end.
Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
To get to the other side (suicide).
Why did the second hedgehog cross the road?
To see his flatmate.
I have a choking kink, so I will enjoy hanging.
Why does the orphan commit suicide to join the other side to see their parents?
Today I found out that my cat got hit by a car accident. Well, I guess I'm gonna play ninja fruits on my hands again. It's not like anyone will notice.
Me and my friend (rope) like hanging out.
If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb to the top of your ego then jump to your IQ.
Suicidal thoughts aren’t nice, but nor is life. So why not get them both done and over with?
They say they'll stay, but I left first.
If 80% of all suicides in the UK are males, and women want equality, then maybe they should just kill themselves.
Chuck Norris once said that he didn't like the plane he was riding in. Out of sadness, the plane committed suicide. How, you ask? Ask the Twin Towers.
Your Mom so fat that she went on to commit suicide, but the roof fell off.....
I told a joke and someone said, "no one asked." Then I said, "no one would care to even ask."
My only friend who actually cares: "Stop making suicide jokes, I’m really concerned!"
Me: Okay, I’ll cut it out.
What do emo kids like to do in their spare time?
Hanging out.
What's a suicidal person's favorite drink?
The depressay expressay.
Just kidding, bleach!