Suicide jokes

Been getting a lot of paper cuts on my fingers lately, I guess it's a sign I should go lower.

Me to friend: I'm homeschooled.

Friend: If I was homeschooled, I'd kms.

Me: Oh, I already tried that.

I'm always hanging in there.

Hanging on the wall.

Roses are red, violets are blue, you know what else is violent? Suicide with me and you.

Are suicide bombers taught properly how to fly, or...

Are they just given a quick crash course?

People say dogs are like their owners. So true. My dog keeps on running into the street as if she doesn't care about her life.

I don't care about her life either hahahaha!! :)

What’s the best cure for not wanting to go to work?

Suicide.

I sexually identify as kilometers per second.

Cuz I really wanna km/s (kill myself).

How were tire swings made?

A tire said, "Goodbye world," and hung himself.

Friend 1: What's your favorite drink or food?

Friend 2: Pizza.

Friend 3: Donuts.

Friend 4: I don't eat food but I do drink bleach.

Friend 1: (calling the suicide hotline)

Friend 2: (Calling the parents)

The only profession where one could have coronavirus and still go to work is a suicide terrorist.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Your dead son.

Did you know Disney is making a movie for suicidal people?

They're calling it Finding Emo.

I want to di... dive! Yeah!

Suicide isn't funny, but you can spice it up by wearing a fun hat.

If you're here for a cheap laugh about suicide, I'll give you some real killer jokes!

What do cutting boards and a suicidal teen's wrist have in common?

They both have cutting marks.

Random person: Minecraft is actually more peaceful than real life.

Me: Well, screw life. Maybe if I light a fire on myself, I will go to Minecraft (my excuse for suicide).

I'm dead! 😂💀💀

I don't want to die alone... That is why I am working my way up to become a suicide bomber!