Suicide jokes
After long consideration, I've decided to get a zebra tattoo on my wrist. Not like anyone will notice the difference.
My friend said he wanted to die, and I told him not to jump. But when he screamed, "Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville, and welcome to Jackass!" I knew it was over.
What can't you say to an emo?
Hang in there, buddy!
I’ve got money and suicidal thoughts, and I’m all out of money.
Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone?
He got hit by a train.
When a person yells, just laugh and remember that they can’t hurt what’s already dead.
I’m taken, taken my own life, bitch!
You're so ugly that if you looked in the mirror, you would walk into the light.
Me: I have lost it.
Random: Lost what?
Me: My will to live.
I wish I was a dinosaur because all of them are dead.
Why did Hitler kill himself? He knew the war was over at the beginning.
What do you tell someone who has depression?
Answer: Just hang in there.
What's a suicidal person's favorite drink?
The depressay expressay.
Just kidding, bleach!
You have five seconds to kill me. 1... 2... 3... 4... Thank you. I can rest now. WAIT, HOW AM I TALKING?????????????????????
What is an emo's most hated game? Hangman.
Because it's rubbing it in their face that they can't hang themselves.
If you drop an emo and a piece of paper out of a tree, you know what will hit the floor first? The paper, because the rope will stop the emo.
One time Little Johnny saw someone in his yard tying a rope to a tree, and he moved the stool and the tree broke. Little Johnny screamed, "HAHA! You're skinny enough to break the tree!"
Suicide is population control, republished.
If an emo and a leaf are in a tree, which one will fall first?
Answer: The leaf. The rope saved the emo.
Rape victim: I want to die.
Man: Hang in there.
Rape victim: That's what I'll do, I'll hang myself.