Suicide

Suicide jokes

Why did the orphan kill itself?

Because he's depressed about no family.

Two friends were hanging out with each other next to a tree.

Too bad only one was standing. :)

Been getting a lot of paper cuts on my fingers lately, I guess it's a sign I should go lower.

Person 1: Stop making suicidal jokes!

Person 2: Okay, okay, I’ll cut it out.

Person 1: Really?

Person 2: They're not even that deep.

"Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death"?

Maybe in infidel America but.... it is #1 in the Glorious Iran.

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My ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's going to be hanging tonight.

Once in 4th grade, right now, I told a random tree, "Hey, my day is bad right now, can we hang later?"

The tree said: "Yeah, we are going to be hanging every day :) !!! If you can last :)"

A Muslim is about to commit suicide when a Catholic priest stops him.

"What are you doing?!" exclaims the priest.

"There is nothing on this Earth for me," the Muslim says. "I will commit suicide to go to paradise and get 72 virgins!"

The priest shakes his head.

"Foolish Muslim, suicide is not the way!" he says.

"Follow me, I'll take you to the local primary school."

What did the depressed kid do in P.E.? They played with the jump rope, but they used it the wrong way.

I decided that I'll end it all, but when I drove off, I remembered I forgot to do the dishes.