Suicide jokes
My mom asked me if I was okay, so I replied, "I will be," and jumped out the window!
Why did the orphan kill itself?
Because he's depressed about no family.
How do you get an emo out of the tree?
You cut the rope.
What kind of bath bomb does an emo person use?
A toaster.
No joking.
Two friends were hanging out with each other next to a tree.
Too bad only one was standing. :)
What do you tell a suicidal person when they complain about their problems to you?
Just hang in there, man.
what did the suicidal kid say to the tree?
don't leave me hanging.
Been getting a lot of paper cuts on my fingers lately, I guess it's a sign I should go lower.
Person 1: Stop making suicidal jokes!
Person 2: Okay, okay, I’ll cut it out.
Person 1: Really?
Person 2: They're not even that deep.
What makes sad people jump? A bridge.
I'm so skinny, I could use floss as a noose.
"Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death"?
Maybe in infidel America but.... it is #1 in the Glorious Iran.
🇮🇷🇮🇷🇮🇷🇮🇷
My ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's going to be hanging tonight.
Once in 4th grade, right now, I told a random tree, "Hey, my day is bad right now, can we hang later?"
The tree said: "Yeah, we are going to be hanging every day :) !!! If you can last :)"
A Muslim is about to commit suicide when a Catholic priest stops him.
"What are you doing?!" exclaims the priest.
"There is nothing on this Earth for me," the Muslim says. "I will commit suicide to go to paradise and get 72 virgins!"
The priest shakes his head.
"Foolish Muslim, suicide is not the way!" he says.
"Follow me, I'll take you to the local primary school."
What did the depressed kid do in P.E.? They played with the jump rope, but they used it the wrong way.
My advice to suicidal people: just hang in there. 🕺
I either want to hang, stab, or shoot myself. I'm dying to choose.
I decided that I'll end it all, but when I drove off, I remembered I forgot to do the dishes.