Straight Jokes

If you believe in Allah, you will go straight to heaven, Mashallah! 😍

Incest.

When your genealogy chart is a straight line.

Me: Ok so let's get this straight....

Cop: I'm not straight ok, now get in the car.

Me: But I didn't do anything?

Cop: No.

Me: So why are you arresting me then?

Cop: Imma tell you a story.

Me: Oh no.......

Cop: I know, now come on.

Me: Ok where?

Cop: My room.

Me: Which room?

Cop: My bedroom.

Me: 😱I'm a girl.

Cop: So am I, now get in.

Me: But I'm 9.

Cop: I'm 59.

I like my boo like I like my packages: straight out of the box.

People often ask me what I would do for a Klondike bar. Well, I'd straight up put 5 hijackers on Flight 175 before it departed from Logan Airport at 8:14 a.m. on September 11, 2001.

In Africa, it doesn't matter if you're gay, straight, or bisexual.

At the end of the day, it's night.

straight (DYM 56)

Chris said to me in P.E. that he likes Jacob, and he said he wants to go straight to the bedroom.

What's the sharpest thing in the world?

A fart... it goes straight through your pants without leaving a hole.

Would you rather have a menstrual period with horrible cramps for 200 days straight (including men)?

Or eat 10 lbs of dog s**t every day for 100 days?

Who gets more dick, straight male rap fans or straight male swifties? Answer: Straight male rap fans, because there’s no such thing as a straight male swiftie.

I hate straight people.

Straight people.

That's the joke.

The FitnessGramTM Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20-meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.

Level 1 Feel it One Two Three Four Five Six Seven; end of level one.

Me: Gay puns are the best!

Also me: But I'm straight though.

Just to get things straight, I'm NOT, I repeat, NOT racist, but this joke goes out to all the people who talk about other people with darker skin than the other person.

Bully: Your skin is so black and ugly (for the 5th time).

Me: I'm so happy you love my skin color!

Bully: Ew, no I don't!

Me: Then why do you keep talking about it?

My friend and I got into a fight. I looked straight forward and said, "Look me in my eyes!"

"I’m going through a lot of things right now," I said frustratedly to the person on the line as I crashed straight through the next building in my car.