The 25+ Best Forward Jokes

One day, a priest is walking down the street and sees a little girl with a box. "What's in the box?", the priest asks. "Christian kittens", the little girl answers. Pleased, the priest smiles and continues on his way. A week later, the same priest is walking down the street with a nun when he sees the little girl and the box again. "Ask her what she has in the box", he says, "It's the cutest thing!" The nun walks up and asks the girl what she has in the box. "Atheist kittens", she says. The priest rushes forward and says "ATHEIST KITTENS!!! Last week you said they were "Christian kittens!!!" "They were", she says. "Now their eyes are open".

When a clock goes forward, it's tic-tac, but when Rommel goes backwards, its tactic!

Why do scuba divers fall backwards off of the boat? Because if they fell forward, they'd still be on the boat.

After getting in the White House, D.Trump gets a letter.... ... from the Iranian president. He opens it and to his surprise there is a paper with a weird looking code on it:

370HSSV 0773H

All confused, Trump contacts the FBI and forwards the letter to them in hope they can figure out the meaning, but they weren't able to. Trump gets angry and sends the letter to both the CIA and NSA, and they also fail to figure out the meaning of the letter.

One of the agents suggest Trump to ask for MI6's help, so he does and few minutes after a British agent sends a fax to his secretary: Tell your president he was holding the letter upside down.

Little Johnny runs up to his mother and says, "mommy mommy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, daddy came in with the lady next door and they started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off daddy's clothes and daddy took off the clothes from the lady next door, and they both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of daddy and started...". The mother cuts him off and says "just stop right there. You wait until your daddy comes home so you can tell him everything you just told me." Couple hours later the father arrives and walks through the door to find his wife and child with bags packed. She walks up to him and slaps across the face shouting "I'm leaving you... Go ahead Johnny, tell him what you told me earlier." Johnny steps forward to tell his daddy. "Daddy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, you came in with the lady next door and you both started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off your clothes and you took off the clothes from the lady next door, and you both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of you and started doing the same thing mom did with uncle joe last summer."

What is heavy forward but not backward? -- "ton".

On my 21st Birthday my mom told me I got a nice birthday present for you. As the son and only child your going to to get something good and something you been looking forward to is what my mom said. Me my mom and my on;y friend celebrate my Birthday then we all went to sleep I woke up the next day I ask hey where my gift you said you got me. My mom said since your father left us you have have no father figure in your life. So this is your new step father the only thing it was my only friend.

Little Johnny runs up to his mother and says, “mommy mommy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, daddy came in with the lady next door and they started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off daddy’s clothes and daddy took off the clothes from the lady next door, and they both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of daddy and started...”. The mother cuts him off and says “just stop right there. You wait until your daddy comes home so you can tell him everything you just told me.” Couple hours later the father arrives and walks through the door to find his wife and child with bags packed. She walks up to him and slaps across the face shouting “I’m leaving you... Go ahead Johnny, tell him what you told me earlier.” Johnny steps forward to tell his daddy. “Daddy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, you came in with the lady next door and you both started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off your clothes and you took off the clothes from the lady next door, and you both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of you and started doing the same thing mom did with uncle joe last summer.”

A blind man once told me, he smokes a lot because he has nothing to look forward. Well, let just say that I see his point.

How many gears does a French tank have ?

1 Forward and 6 Reverse.

Your so skinny that when your driving you have to put the seat forward to reach the pedals 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

There was a car accident and the cops pull up to the crime seen to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said what happened here she responded by saying a car crash. They then asked but how did it happen, she responded the cars crashed into each other. They finally said but why did it happen. The lady said oh i know where your going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas peddle the car goes forward and they both pushed it so they both went forward and hit each other. One cop said never mind ma'm and they stared walking away. The blonde lady then said oh and officers my computer froze do you think i should put in the microwave or in the oven?

Sheila, the Aussie housewife, got out of the shower and slipped on the bathroom floor. Instead of falling over forwards or backwards, she did the splits and suctioned cupped herself to the floor. She yelled out for her husband, "Bruce! Bruce!" and he came running in. "Bruce, I’ve bloody suctioned myself to the floor" she said. "S’truth, Sheila!" Bruce said, and tried to pull her up. "You’re stuck fast girl. I’ll go across the road and get me mate Cobber." They came back and they both tried to pull her up from the floor. "No way, we can’t do it!" Cobber said, "So let’s try Plan B" "Plan B?" exclaimed Bruce, "What’s that?" "I’ll go home and get me hammer and chisel and we’ll break the tiles under her" replied Cobber. "Spot on" Bruce said, "While you’re doing that, I’ll stay here and play with her nipples" "Play with her nipples?" Cobber said, "Not exactly a good time for that mate" "No... " Bruce replied, "But I reckon if I can get her wet enough, we can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles are a lot cheaper"

We used to have tail on the back.. and now it moves forward.

One day Billy, Bob, and Doo Da went fishing in a small boat. None of them could swim and they had no life jackets. Doo Da suddenly started yelling, " I got one boys! '' as he started trying to reel the fish in. It was way to large for him to get onto the boat and he fell into the water. The fish had a nice meal that night. Billy and Bob were in shock, but knew they had to tell Mrs. Doo Da. Upon arriving at her house, they did rock paper scissors on who had to tell her the news. Bob lost. He slowly rang the doorbell and Mrs. Doo Da answered. "U-uhm.. we...Doo D-Da..f-fish..." Bob stuttered then he screamed and ran off. Billy went to go retrieve his friend. Billy had a nice little talk with him and slapped him across the face to get him to just say what happened. Soon, the two men returned to Mrs. Doo Da's house and rang the doorbell, again. She opened the door and looked at the two men and asked, " I've been trying to call Doo Da and he hasn't answered, is he ok?" Bob took a deep breath and took a step forward with a smile on his face. He sang, " We went fishing, guess who died, Doo Da, Doo Da. He smiled and he said good bye, we morn Doo Da today.''

Hi guys. I'm going to be out for 3 days. Also quote for the day and advice. Quote. (Made by me) Don't look back at tomorrow just look forward today. there are new thoughts, strength, and ideas.

Advice. Sometimes ppl have opions and those opions are probley what u don't like but don't bring negitvity on them just because of what there saying. If you chose you probley say (I don't understand that statement but it does sound good." This is not a drama site it a joking site.

P.S. No hating in these comments.