Straight Jokes

I'm hertophobic.

It means I'm allergic to straights.

Please read all of it. I know it's long, please read all of it.

This dad heard his daughter praying. As she was praying, she came to an end: "Goodnight grandma, goodbye grandpa, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy." The dad didn't think about the grandpa part and headed to bed. The next morning, the mom and dad heard that the grandpa died. The dad thought it was just coincidence, so he carried on with his day. At night, he heard his daughter again: "Goodbye grandma, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy." After he heard "goodbye grandma," his facial expression changed, and he went straight to bed. The next morning, the grandma died out of nowhere. The dad began to worry and continued on with his day. At night, he heard his daughter again: "Goodbye daddy, goodnight mommy." The dad got scared, so he had a plan to go to work and stay hidden there. So that's what he did. When he got home the next day, his wife asked where he had been, and he replied back, "Sorry honey, I had a horrible day today." She replied back saying: "Oh, you think you had a bad day? The mailman just died on the front porch this morning!" If you get it, you get it.

If you're gay, then what the f*** are you doing trying to walk straight?

Like if you are straight; comment if you are LGBTQ+; dislike if you are a Nazi.

I have a trans friend.

He is in a polyamorous relationship and would be straight if they had a dick.

gay people

The image shows a white fetus against a black background, superimposed on a rainbow circle. Text above the fetus says, "Thinking Straight about Being Gay. Why it Matters if We're Born That Way".

I met this kid and he was being bullied by 9 people. I Asked 1 whats going on. They all said another one to bully they all tried hitting me and then my mates which was like 15 of them came in and it was like war all over again.

Why do gay people get bad grades?

Because they don't get straight A's.

my hairline may be straight but i’m not

Yo mama so gay that she made left and right turn straight.

Gays: I like men.

Straight: I like women.

Bisexual: A hole is a hole.

The average person in 2023 is less straight than the lines my 5th-grade P.E. teacher walked in college.

"Rapeboat" makes Elton John seem straight.

I KNOW IT'S MARCH, BUT I THOUGHT OF THIS!

Jingle bells, jingle bells! OH GOD, SANTA FELL!

I guess it's time for Mrs. Claus to go straight down to hell!

Yo mum so gay she watched straight porn because gay porn was boring because she is gay

My friend said, "Dude, if you don't put your desk in line with the column, you're gay." So he did it, and I said, "Well, I guess now he's straight." ;D

This boy said, "Get your hairline straight." I said, "Girls don't have a hairline. How about you go to the barber shop and let your barber do your hair 10 times worse than he did the first time."