Story jokes

Why did Alice from Wonderland get her butt stuck in the rabbit hole at first? Because she probably ate too many hamburgers and drank too much wine just out of nowhere, then told her butt to hold it in before more food pops out.

What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "Ugh, ugh, ugh!"

My joke is about Archer, riddles, sex life. Wait, sorry, there is none.

Thanks for reading Archer’s love life story.

Why are the same Sally jokes told over and over again?

Because how can you tell jokes about someone who's dead?

Fritz Cheng was asked to write three articles on the subject. He went to his grandmother and advised her: "Question: Kill people! I am sorry, Mr. Fritz, I am looking for his brother—what do you suggest?"

Brother: "I'm Superman. I am Superman!"

Fritz remembers entering the room. That's Alfredo's question in front of the TV: "Do you have any advice?"

Fritz tells a story from his school days. "Remember our words?" said Professor Fleck. "An artist? Is that true? Frison, who are you?"

"I am Superman. I'm Superman," he said. "I hope to meet the president."

Who are the fastest readers? Nine-eleven victims, because they fell through 720 stories in under 10 seconds.

Jack and Jill went up the hill. They turned to drunks and have no will. Jill said to Jack, "Your love reveal, then think of building me a still."

Hi guys, so today I am going to do another blog. It's just for fun, and yeah. Enjoy!

So, this morning, when I woke up, I heard that I was getting new grips. I was so excited. (In case you guys don't know what grips are, they are sort of like gloves that go on your hands and they are for gymnastics bars.) I was excited because my old grips don't fit me anymore and my coach was like, "Oh I can get you some new ones since we have a meet in a week." And so I was like, "Oh, that's fine. My parents ordered me some. Thank you though." And she was like, "Okay, that's fine. Just make sure you have them by next week." So long story short, I have new grips now.

One night I was sitting on my bed in my room, minding my own business. It was pretty late, around 10 PM. The glow of my laptop screen was the only light in the room. I heard a noise coming from behind me. It sounded like the door was opening, but there was no one else in the house.

I turned around and found Mr. Incredible standing in my doorway, a stern look on his face. He walked over to me, slowly and dramatically. Then he leaned over and pointed his finger at my face, only about two inches away now. I was frozen with my back against the wall. Then, Mr. Incredible said something I would never forget: "Stop pirating video games."

Ever since that day, I have never gone on a pirating website and have paid legally for my video games. True story.

God made Adam and Eve.

Satan made Adam and Steve.

Why are 9/11 victims the fastest readers in the world?

Because they went through 90 stories in just 10 seconds!

There was a news story the other day where a magician disappeared. He was like "At the count of 3 I will disappear aight...Uno, Dos," and he disappeared without a trace.

A man walks into a forest and sees a girl crying. He asks her, "What is wrong?"

She replies, "I lost my family, my friends, and my home."

The man then unties his pants and says, "Then young lady, your day is about to get worse!"

When did “yo” mean Hello?

They are so different, how did they come to mean the same thing? Did someone just walk up and accidentally say “llo” instead of hello and people were just like “what did you say?” and the man being embarrassed just made up a story and say “oh, I said yo, which means hello in my original language."

My wife is a whore, so I pimped her out and broke her mentally and emotionally, taught her a good lesson of being a real woman loyal to her man. End of story, you women are bitches.

The Flanders Song

God said to Noah, "There’s gonna be a floody-floody."

Rain came down, it started to get muddy-muddy.

Get these animals👏out of the arky-arky."

"Leave me alone!"

There was a house with a three-story building.

The first one had Mexicans.

The second one had Africans.

The third one had white people.

An earthquake came.

But who did survive?

The white family because they were at work.

What is the main group of teens in West Side Story?

New York Jets.

I was watching a TV show where a guy was hanging off a cliff, then the series ended... I guess you can say that they left that guy on a cliffhanger!

Jack and Jill went up the hill so they can fetch some pee. Jack fell down and broke his whole body. Jill just laughed and didn’t care, so now they have a daughter.