Story jokes

Me: Sorry I couldn’t make it to school yesterday, I had an appointment.

Teacher: What kind of appointment?

Me: I had an appointment with a cut day. 😈😈😈

True story.

I'm the champion of this site. I fight with the ten rings and ten fists of the legendary Buddha.

Now for my joke...

Why does Peter Pan always fly?

Because he never lands.

Do you know why Peter Pan is always flying?

Because he Neverlands!

A fly is 6 inches above water, and a fish sees it and it leaps out and gets the fly. Then a bear grabs the fish and eats it. Then a hunter shot the bear, and a mouse saw some crackers and then leaped on the cracker and ate it. Then a cat runs down to get the mouse, trips, and falls into the water, and that's the story of how six inches can get a pussy wet.

Did you hear about the person who died? I would tell you about him, but he died.

What’s the difference between a cancer patient and a British news reporter in the South?

They usually don’t live to tell the tale.

How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?

His hand caught on fire.

Stories like Rudolph and Wonder show that different means worse.

What did the lady say when she sat on Pinocchio's face:

"Tell a truth, tell a lie, tell a truth, tell a lie, tell a truth!"

Should I kill the main character's best friends in my book? It's an autobiography.

I only have a few friends, like if you relate.

Based on a true story.

There’s a one-story house in which everything is yellow. Yellow walls, yellow doors, yellow furniture. What color are the stairs?

Answer: There aren’t any—it’s a one-story house.

Why did the orphan scream "wolf"? Because people actually came back.

Who are the world's fastest readers?

9/11 victims; they went through 91 stories in 11 seconds.

Jack and Jill went up a hill to do it in the water.

Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.

Our teacher told us to write a story about the life of an object that's not alive, so I wrote a story about an emo kid.

My mom once ate a full giant cheesecake, and we were walking to our flight back home, and she had to sh*t.

We were walking to the bathroom, and she full on [did it] in front of the carousel. She had a lump of poo in her pants... True story, haha!

What hairstyle do horses like best while reading a story?

Pony-tails.

I sat down and wrote a joke.

Teacher: Tell me about the history of Tsar Nicholas (blah blah blah).

Student: How should I know, that's his story?