Story jokes

I'm the champion of this site. I fight with the ten rings and ten fists of the legendary Buddha.

Now for my joke...

Why does Peter Pan always fly?

Because he never lands.

Me: Sorry I couldn’t make it to school yesterday, I had an appointment.

Teacher: What kind of appointment?

Me: I had an appointment with a cut day. 😈😈😈

True story.

Do you know why Peter Pan is always flying?

Because he Neverlands!

A fly is 6 inches above water, and a fish sees it and it leaps out and gets the fly. Then a bear grabs the fish and eats it. Then a hunter shot the bear, and a mouse saw some crackers and then leaped on the cracker and ate it. Then a cat runs down to get the mouse, trips, and falls into the water, and that's the story of how six inches can get a pussy wet.

Did you hear about the person who died? I would tell you about him, but he died.

Stories like Rudolph and Wonder show that different means worse.

I only have a few friends, like if you relate.

Based on a true story.

Should I kill the main character's best friends in my book? It's an autobiography.

My mom once ate a full giant cheesecake, and we were walking to our flight back home, and she had to sh*t.

We were walking to the bathroom, and she full on [did it] in front of the carousel. She had a lump of poo in her pants... True story, haha!

What did the lady say when she sat on Pinocchio's face:

"Tell a truth, tell a lie, tell a truth, tell a lie, tell a truth!"

Jack and Jill went up a hill to do it in the water.

Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.

Our teacher told us to write a story about the life of an object that's not alive, so I wrote a story about an emo kid.

Who are the world's fastest readers?

9/11 victims; they went through 91 stories in 11 seconds.

There’s a one-story house in which everything is yellow. Yellow walls, yellow doors, yellow furniture. What color are the stairs?

Answer: There aren’t any—it’s a one-story house.

Why did the orphan scream "wolf"? Because people actually came back.

Teacher: Tell me about the history of Tsar Nicholas (blah blah blah).

Student: How should I know, that's his story?

What hairstyle do horses like best while reading a story?

Pony-tails.

I sat down and wrote a joke.

How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?

His hand caught on fire.

What’s the difference between a cancer patient and a British news reporter in the South?

They usually don’t live to tell the tale.