Story jokes
My girlfriend is so fat that when she runs or walks, she falls, so I am breaking up with you.
🙍🏼♀️Fat girlfriend: Nooo, don’t leave me, catch me, ahhh!
🙇🏼♀️Fat girlfriend falls on boyfriend: Ahhhhhh *dump*
🙇🏼♀️🙇🏼Fat girlfriend and boyfriend: Fat girlfriend: U didn’t catch me wawawawa. Boyfriend: Get off me, 900 pounds, ugh, I hate u!
Story done. Please like.
Jack and Jill went up the hill so they can fetch some pee. Jack fell down and broke his whole body. Jill just laughed and didn’t care, so now they have a daughter.
What type of people have the world record for most stories read in the shortest amount of time?
Emos, some of them are still in the air.
Jack and Jill went up a hill to do it in the water.
Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.
What has 4 limbs and can make a sidewalk red? Me falling from a 20 story building.
What do you call a toy that has a story?
Toy Story.
Two sentence horror stories go.
Gently throw a baby off a ten story building!
I posted up on my story that I got a new cut. My friends and family called the cops...
I used to be emo.
Do midgets still start their childhood stories off with, "When I was little"?
What's the Pixar movie close to being a pornstar? Toy Story... *I got a friend in me*
Once, there was a woman who had a husband and a dog. The husband dies.
The dog would always sleep under the bed, and when the woman would go to sleep, she'd put her hand down, and the dog would lick it to say she/he was alright. One night, it was thunderstorming. She put her hand down and the dog licked normally. She heard the dog whimper, so she put her hand down like normal, as the dog always does, he/she licks her hand.
Then she heard dripping coming from the bathroom, so she went to go stop the leaking that might be coming from the tap, but the tap wasn't on, nor was it dripping. She turns on the light and looks up at the roof to see if the roof was leaking but turns out her dog was hung by its head above the bathtub.
On the mirror it said, "Humans can lick too," in the dog's blood.
This is a true story, don't be afraid to look it up!
STORY OF 2 PEOPLE NOT ME:
Girlfriend: What would you do if I won the lottery?
Boyfriend: I would take half and leave you.
Girlfriend: Ok cool. I won 12 dollars here's 6 and don't come back.
Why is Peter Pan always flying?
Because he Neverlands! (I love this joke because it never grows old.)
Our teacher told us to write a story about the life of an object that's not alive, so I wrote a story about an emo kid.
Who are the world's fastest readers?
9/11 victims; they went through 91 stories in 11 seconds.
Why are 9/11 victims so good at reading?
Because they can go through 100 stories in 5 minutes.
What does Jesus have in common with Pinocchio?
They believe their own lies.
What's the difference between an orphan and a second-hand book?
The second-hand book was loved once.
True story: my math teacher Mr. Ueberoth accidentally marked a Kahoot as 100 points in Google Classroom instead of 10. If he doesn't find out, the grades will be more hyperinflated than Zimbabwe's economy.