Why did they make bus stops? So the bus driver would know where to pick the orphan up.

Best way to stop a fight between deaf people? Just turn off the Lights

If you think no one cares about you, stop paying your taxes

I could never forget my grandfathers last words. “Stop shaking the ladd-”

guy: Say “I’m a man” every time I stop. person: guy: you walk into a bar. person: I’m a man guy:you meet a girl person: I’m a man guy:you and the girl go to a hotel
person: I’m a man guy:you guys go on a bed person: I’m a man. guy:she whispers into your ear person:I’m a man

There are two siblings. A little brother and a big brother. Now, the big brother had a girlfriend, and one night they decided to go and have sex. So, the bigger brother goes to pick up his girlfriend one night, and take her home. So they get to the bigger brothers house, and walk in his room. Now the two siblings shared the room, and they had bunk bed. When they walked in the room, they saw the little brother asleep in the bottom bunk, so they went up to the top bunk to have sex. The big brother says, “whenever you feel good, say lettuce, and whenever you want to switch positions say tomato.” The girl constantly is saying “lettuce, tomato” and then the little brother wakes up. He quietly remarks, " can you guys stop making sandwiches, you’re getting mayonnaise all over me.

“Mom? Don’t freak out, but I’m in the hospital.”

“Aaron, you’ve been a doctor for over 8 years now, please stop starting every phone conversation we have with that.”

I walked into a room full of men masturbating. – They all looked shocked when I didn’t stop.

A Pedo is driving down a highway really slowly and gets stopped by the police. The officer asks why he was driving so slowly the man answers I dont wake up the kids.

According to all known laws of aviation,

there is no way a bee should be able to fly.

Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.

The bee, of course, flies anyway

because bees don’t care what humans think is impossible.

Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.

Ooh, black and yellow! Let’s shake it up a little.

Barry! Breakfast is ready!

Ooming!

Hang on a second.

Hello?

  • Barry?
  • Adam?
  • Oan you believe this is happening?
  • I can’t. I’ll pick you up.

Looking sharp.

Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those.

Sorry. I’m excited.

Here’s the graduate. We’re very proud of you, son.

A perfect report card, all B’s.

Very proud.

Ma! I got a thing going here.

  • You got lint on your fuzz.
  • Ow! That’s me!
  • Wave to us! We’ll be in row 118,000.
  • Bye!

Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!

What’s bad about swinging a dead baby above your head? Stopping it with the shovel

What’s the difference between a masquito and a blonde girl.

One stops sucking when you smack it.

Once there were these two fruitcakes driving in their Pink Porsche. “Oh this handles so well !” they exclaimed. Then this Mack truck came around the corner at their stop sign and rear ended them. Passenger said to his partner. " You tell that man he’s gonna pay every single cent cuz we’re going to sue him !" So the flamer gets out and swishes to tell the trucker to do that very thing. The trucker was a tough who said “What do you want wimp? " The gay said ,” You just hit our new Pink Porsche and we’re gonna make you pay every single cent cuz we’re gonna sue you!" The trucker said " Oh yeah ? Blow me ! " Gay driver went " Ohhh!" And ran back. Gay partner asked him " What did he say ?" His fruitcake driver said " Ohhh! Its wonderful, he wants to settle out of court !"

I had an animal pun contest today. He started off by saying something-I don’t remember. Then I replied TOUCAN play that game. He went silent and my other friend barged in and said, “Don’t you thick he’s CHICKENing out?” I said, “yeah, just stop HORSING around!” He came back with one and I ended it by saying, “Ok, lets MOOOOOve on cow[now]” Welp that’s it.

How do you get a clown to stop smiling

You shoot him in the face

What is the difference between Bin Laden and Santa, one stops at the top of the skyscraper.

Stop complaining. Pediphile Jokes are pretty funny but to say there is over 100 of them only to have repeats of the same joke told by different people is very disappointing.

how to stop bulling

where do cows stop to drink? the milky way!

I’ll stop with the horrible puns if chu can say a good joke

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