What is the difference between Michael Jackson and my uncle? Nothing, they both steal children.
You have been accused of stealing toilet rolls. How do you plead?
Guilty or not guilty?
Why cant Orphans steal bases? Because they cant find home.
My friend made this joke (so I’m going steal it). I’m surrounded by fat people, oh wait... it’s just one.
If Hillary and Biden got locked in a room together, all they would talk about is how to ruin America and make a plan to steal children.
To become a licensed airline pilot requires 1,500 hours (two years) of training. But it only takes 10 seconds to steal the pilot’s jacket and hat.
What do you get when Cayden steals your sandwich? A knuckle sandwich.
Me: Sister, stop stealing my stuff or I will make you feel bad.
Sister: No, I won't stop.
Me: Fine, I'm telling the world what you did.
Sister: What? You will see when I post it.
Sister: WHY DID YOU TELL THEM I PEED ON SANTA CLAUS WHEN I WAS 12 YEARS OLD?
Me: BECAUSE YOU DON ́T HAVE A LIFE.
What do you call an Asian that steals cars? Tommy toke a motor.
A bully walks up to a kid named Billy to insult him and steal his lunch money.
Later that night when he is at home, the bully’s father comes into his room to insult him and take the lunch money he stole.
The father walks down stair to check on his father in the living room. When he walks in, his father insults him and takes the lunch money.
The grandfather of the bully walks into the back yard and in the dark is Billy. The grandfather walks up to him and says “Where’s my money, you worthless old fart?”
What's so wrong about Trump being in office?
He steals all the cats.
What kind of person will steal Captain Hook's hook?
Answer: A hooker.
Lol, I keep stealing my dad's medication money, and the best part is he never remembers.
When the police caught him stealing the batteries, he got immediately charged!
Why did the baseball player go to jail?
Because he stole first base.
Fun fact! If you steal your sister's cat, she will be mad.
I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.
But when I got home, all the signs were there.
Last time I got caught stealing a calendar, I got 12 months.
What did the 90s rocker Space Engineer in multiplayer Miner yell at the Troll stealing his stuff?
"Hey! give me my Nickelback!"
If you had 10 chicken nuggets and Jimmy tried to steal one, what would you have?
10 chicken nuggets and a dead Jimmy.
