What did Julius say when he saw a woman stealing an expensive chandelier?
“Guards! Seize her (Caesar)!”
All these African jokes aren't funny when you are a lover of Africa, how are there still Africans alive? Y'all are racist and may God forgive you. You know we're rich with natural resources, that's why y'all come to steal from us. Shame on you all!
Why did the cow steal an AK-47?
He was a mooslim.
Why is the thief so good at basketball? Because he can shoot, steal, and run.
When you steal the weird pet rock, so he pulls out his pet Glock.
A man was reported stealing a bar of soap from a corner store. The police concluded that he made a clean getaway.
If you steal a lottery ticket, is it considered Grand Theft Lotto?
My friend dared me to steal my other friend's watch. I tried, but failed. He really got me, dare.
The irony of metal jokes is pretty fun. But it leads to a lot of people stealing them.
How do you make antifreeze?
You steal her blanket.
Who do you call someone that steals his brother's girlfriend and [is] disowned by his whole family? Brandon.
Why did the baseball player get arrested? He tried to steal third.
Why do people not play Uno with Mexicans? Because they are always stealing the green cards.
Greg fucking steals toes!
What's the difference between an amateur thief and a professional thief?
The amateur thief says, "Give me all your money!" The professional thief says, "Sign here please."
Why was the DJ banned from the supermarket?
He was stealing all the samples.
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office: I will find you... You have my Word.
