Steal jokes
To the guy in a wheelchair who stole my camouflage coat: you can hide, but you can't run.
Anonymous 1: Why are you crying?
Anonymous 2: No, buddy, come to my finral.
I didn't steal it. 馃寶
I was cussing out this kid for stealing, and their mom walked in and said, "Hey, language!" I just said, "English, bitch!"
How do you turn rape into no rape? Steal her bank details for money transfer.
Why can orphans get away with robbing the bank?
Because no one wants him.
So, there is this button. There's a 50% chance you get a million dollars. There's a 50% chance that you turn into a turtle. Make them press the button, and if they give the money, you just push the orphan over, take their money, and run away because who are they going to tell? Their parents?
Someone threatened to break into my house, but I am in a wheelchair. I said sure, and I moved everything upstairs and sat on the stairs so he couldn鈥檛 steal anything.
What's the difference between soccer and a dead baby?
I don't wear steel cap boots when I play soccer.
Why do white people colonize everything?
To steal a culture for themselves, something other than fornicating with anything that moves including their own children and pets, which they already do.
For someone to be stealing a bag of gold in Heaven, [they are] a criminal on Earth and [in] Heaven.
Why are you dumb? Because you can鈥檛 find LOLA.
Why did the orphan become a criminal?
Because he wanted to actually be wanted.
I bought an anti-bullying wristband. I say I bought it; I stole it off a fat ginger kid.
To the guy who stole my depression medication,
I hope you're happy.
A zebra couldn't find any grass. Then he saw a monkey cooking. He thought to steal a little, but he was burned in the fore, and the smoke was all over him. But when he went to the ocean, it was still there, and zebras are stuck in this style forever.
Why can鈥檛 you kidnap an orphan?
Because you can鈥檛 steal what was never wanted in the first place.
Ok, ok, who is trying to be my "long lost brother"? Because last time I checked, I didn't have any sisters or brothers, so stop trying to steal my fame from me and give up. A lot of other people already know you are fake, so get off this website OR JUST STOP!!!
Little Johnny was walking on the street alone one day and saw a robber. Little Johnny says to him "Give the mother fucking broken ass piece of shit back!"
To which the robber says "FUCK YOU! I don't wanna."
Little Johnny calls the police and says "A robber is stealing a broken ass piece of shit purse."
The police said "How old are you?"
Little Johnny then hangs up the phone.
Why was the dog stealing shingles?
He wanted to be a woofer.
What did one mouse say to the other mouse when it tried to steal the cheese?
"That's nacho cheese!"