State jokes
Yo mama's so fat, she was overthrown by a small militia group, and now she's known as the Republic of Yo Mama.
Why couldn't Jesus have been born in Florida?
Answer: They wouldn't be able to find "Three Wise Men" or a virgin!
What comment did the United States Senator Kamla Harris make when one of her 64% blue dog democrat constituents called her incompetent?
"Sometimes I sits and thinks, and sometimes I just sits!"
If ignorance is bliss, BLESSEDBRIAN must be the happiest person alive.
My mental health.
Want to hear a joke?
My life. Get it?
You are about to hear the funniest joke ever.
My life.
Where are crackheads from?
OHIGHo
Donald Trump travels back in time to talk to his 10-year-old self.
When he sees himself, he says, "Do you see me? I am you, but almost 70 years older."
His 10-year-old self asks him, "Am I going to be famous?"
Trump replies, "Oh yeah, I became president of the United States. Not once. Twice!"
10-year-old Donald was shocked. But he became even more shocked when he heard the next sentence from his current self: "And now take off your pants!"
Why in Alabama people don't use doggy style... Cuz you don't turn your back to your family.
Texas be like, "We vote to freeze ourselves!"
I went to my girlfriend's house one day in Alabama when I met her brother. He said, "Well, I guess there's no more you stuck in the dryer."
Why does Fallout look like Ohio?
Bro, why does Ohio look like Fallout 4?
Ohio.
Texas is such a shitty state. There’s a reason it only has one star.
What's the difference between me and a corpse? I mean, I'm not dead... yet, right?
I'm alive, baby!
One day I visited my friend in a hospital.
I remember when I spoke, "You know, sometimes it's reaching its peak and its lowest state, but I know you'll always end like the others at calming and straight!"
Yes, I talked about the heart monitor beside him.
"Ahoy, Spongebob! I just committed homicide in Syria, and the one-party state is after my fucking ass! Argagagagagaga!"