State jokes
Why does Fallout look like Ohio?
Ohio.
What state do miners hate?
Oregon.
One day I visited my friend in a hospital.
I remember when I spoke, "You know, sometimes it's reaching its peak and its lowest state, but I know you'll always end like the others at calming and straight!"
Yes, I talked about the heart monitor beside him.
Texas be like, "We vote to freeze ourselves!"
Wanna know what's worse than 5 babies in one dumpster?
1 baby in 5 dumpsters.....
Me and rose bushes have something in common: mangled, can hurt, red, and people only like one part.
Why in Alabama people don't use doggy style... Cuz you don't turn your back to your family.
I went to my girlfriend's house one day in Alabama when I met her brother. He said, "Well, I guess there's no more you stuck in the dryer."
I love Alabama. I live there. I have a sign that says, "Sweet Home Alabama!"
What state starts with an "a a lama"?
I'm alive, baby!
"Ahoy, Spongebob! I just committed homicide in Syria, and the one-party state is after my fucking ass! Argagagagagaga!"
"Joe Mama is very cool. Sweet Home Alabama starts."
What question can you never answer yes to?
Answer: Are you asleep yet?
Nobody: The crickets in the back: Talk talk talk.
Me: JOE MAMA OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Your life, ahhahaha!
My live.
Two boys were playing cards on a picnic table outside the school. Both of the boys had revolvers hidden in their waistband.
Now, one of the boys was a notorious cheater, who liked to hide his cards in his waistband. Recess was just about to end, when all the kids heard a loud bang erupt from the picnic table. In tears, the card player admitted that he had shot the other card player, stating "I played a King, and he started reaching for his waistband!"
A pair of Newfoundlanders, watching TV, saw endless big-budget advertisements for mass-produced American beer.
One Newfie turns to the other and says, "They say that stuff is the biggest seller in the States, but I don't see what the big deal is." So they buy a bottle, pour it into a plain jar and decide to get an expert opinion.
They send a sample to a lab in St. John's to have it analyzed.
A day later, the lab results come back: "Your horse has diabetes."