State jokes

Why does Fallout look like Ohio?

Texas be like, "We vote to freeze ourselves!"

One day I visited my friend in a hospital.

I remember when I spoke, "You know, sometimes it's reaching its peak and its lowest state, but I know you'll always end like the others at calming and straight!"

Yes, I talked about the heart monitor beside him.

I'm alive, baby!

Me and rose bushes have something in common: mangled, can hurt, red, and people only like one part.

"Ahoy, Spongebob! I just committed homicide in Syria, and the one-party state is after my fucking ass! Argagagagagaga!"

What state starts with an "a a lama"?

I love Alabama. I live there. I have a sign that says, "Sweet Home Alabama!"

My live.

Your life, ahhahaha!

Wanna know what's worse than 5 babies in one dumpster?

1 baby in 5 dumpsters.....

Why in Alabama people don't use doggy style... Cuz you don't turn your back to your family.

I went to my girlfriend's house one day in Alabama when I met her brother. He said, "Well, I guess there's no more you stuck in the dryer."

"Joe Mama is very cool. Sweet Home Alabama starts."

What question can you never answer yes to?

Answer: Are you asleep yet?

Nobody: The crickets in the back: Talk talk talk.

Me: JOE MAMA OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

What state do miners hate?

Oregon.

When do we think the Empire State Building is going to be shot down?

Two boys were playing cards on a picnic table outside the school. Both of the boys had revolvers hidden in their waistband.

Now, one of the boys was a notorious cheater, who liked to hide his cards in his waistband. Recess was just about to end, when all the kids heard a loud bang erupt from the picnic table. In tears, the card player admitted that he had shot the other card player, stating "I played a King, and he started reaching for his waistband!"

How do people in Alabama get circumcised? You knee your sister's jaw...