State jokes
Yo mama so fat that State Farm tried to get on her side but couldn’t.
Q: Why doesn’t Toledo have a professional football team?
A: Because then, Cincinnati would want one.
Where is Colorado?
A man finds his son climbing the roof of his house. The kid kept using all sorts of material to climb up, but the dad didn't pay much attention.
Next day the kid went to the state tower and kept climbing using some adhesive gloves. The dad asks his son for a second time: "Son! Why are you doing this?" The son replies: "You told me to aim up high!"
My life...
Why can't dwarfs be depressed?
Because they are compressed.
What are Michael Jackson’s favorite universities?
Brigham Young and Boise State.
Hey, Mom, I'm back from the circus parade. It was amazing! First came the elephants, then came the tigers in the cage, and then came a beautiful lady on a white stallion. Oh, and what came after her?
Asked the mother, "Dad and every sailor in the state of Tennessee," said the boy.
You know where I get my soda? Mini-soda.
Where does a pencil go to vacation? Pennsylvania.
What do you call a decapitated politician?
A severed head of state.
What is the state of California best for? Screwing everything up!
What is the state of Florida for? Rednecks for days!
What is the state of Texas for? Guns!
What is the state of Utah for? Mormons and Pligs baby! (I hate all of the religious stuff!)
What is the state of Idaho for? Calling other people Ho's, mostly!
What is the state of Nevada for? Ever heard of gambling?
What is the state of Delaware for? Literally anything that isn't exciting!
What is the state of New York for? In my state of mind, it's a song! (If you don't get this one, look up the song of New York State of Mind)
If depression on crack fucked weed and 69 hours of not sleeping and had a baby with huge amounts of autism, that would be me.
The Arabian Sea is in which state?
Liquid.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Utah.
Utah who?
You're talking to me.
There are two types of people in Alabama: the orphans and the incests.
Why does the wind always blow from the "West" in Washington State?
Answer: Because IDAHO SUCKS!
A guy was annoyed in a store. I walk up to him and said, "What's wrong, buddy? Don't worry, it's not like you're on an abandoned isle!"
What was the comment that Vice President Harris said in the United States Senate when a blue dog democrat in the United States Senate called Vice President Harris a bitch?
Kibbles 'N Bits!! Kibbles 'N Bits!! I is going to get me some Kibbles 'N Bits!!
Your forehead is so big, if you fell, you would knock out your whole state cold.