State jokes

Ohio.

One day I visited my friend in a hospital.

I remember when I spoke, "You know, sometimes it's reaching its peak and its lowest state, but I know you'll always end like the others at calming and straight!"

Yes, I talked about the heart monitor beside him.

Texas be like, "We vote to freeze ourselves!"

What state starts with an "a a lama"?

Me and rose bushes have something in common: mangled, can hurt, red, and people only like one part.

I'm alive, baby!

"Ahoy, Spongebob! I just committed homicide in Syria, and the one-party state is after my fucking ass! Argagagagagaga!"

I love Alabama. I live there. I have a sign that says, "Sweet Home Alabama!"

Wanna know what's worse than 5 babies in one dumpster?

1 baby in 5 dumpsters.....

Nobody: The crickets in the back: Talk talk talk.

Me: JOE MAMA OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

What state do miners hate?

Oregon.

Your life, ahhahaha!

My live.

I like my women how I like my bacon.

Well Dunn!!!

Two boys were playing cards on a picnic table outside the school. Both of the boys had revolvers hidden in their waistband.

Now, one of the boys was a notorious cheater, who liked to hide his cards in his waistband. Recess was just about to end, when all the kids heard a loud bang erupt from the picnic table. In tears, the card player admitted that he had shot the other card player, stating "I played a King, and he started reaching for his waistband!"

How do people in Alabama get circumcised? You knee your sister's jaw...

A Middle Eastern man comes to the states to do a stand up show. He starts by saying “2 Jews walk into a bar, NOT IN MY COUNTRY!”

Lenda: Hey, can you help me with my homework, please?!

Genda: Okay, and if I do, you won't make a fuss about it!

Lenda: I'll try!

3 mins later.

Genda: THAT IS NOT THE RIGHT ANSWER!

Lenda: Then what is 90 million?

Genda: WHA WHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lenda mocking her: WHA OH YEAH YOU ARE A TERRIBLE TUTOR!!!!!!!!

4 mins later.

Genda: What is the capitol of watchington?

Lenda: Uh.....Idaho!

Genda being sarcastic: Yes...it is not the capitol of watchington...BECAUSE IT IS A STATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lenda: Oh, you mean Iowa!

Genda: UHHHHHHHHHHHH CUSS WORD!!!!!!!!!!

Lenda: U can't help that I'm the smart one...okay sweetie now you go be dumb and I go be smart! LATER SISTER! Oh wait, can you help me with my homework?

Genda: NO! You the smart one so you do it!

My life, lmao.

My life...