Star jokes
Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me. I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed. She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an "L" on her forehead.
Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming. Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running. Didn't make sense not to live for fun. Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb.
So much to do, so much to see So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go. You'll never shine if you don't glow.
[Chorus:] Hey, now, you're an All Star, get your game on, go play Hey, now, you're a Rock Star, get the show on, get paid. And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold.
It's a cool place and they say it gets colder. You're bundled up now wait 'til you get older. But the meteor men beg to differ Judging by the hole in the satellite picture.
The ice we skate is getting pretty thin. The water's getting warm so you might as well swim. My world's on fire. How about yours? That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored.
[Chorus 2x]
Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas. I need to get myself away from this place. I said yep, what a concept I could use a little fuel myself And we could all use a little change.
Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming. Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running. Didn't make sense not to live for fun. Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb.
So much to do, so much to see. So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go. You'll never shine if you don't glow.
[Chorus]
And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold.
My son, who is into astronomy, asked me how stars die. I said, "Usually from an overdose."
Why were glow-in-the-dark condoms made?
To play Star Wars.
One night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars. As I lay there, I thought to myself: WHERE'S THE ROOF?
What do Star Trek and toilet paper have in common?
Both fly around Uranus and wipe out Klingons!
If a man is willing to try his hardest to give you the moon and stars, then ladies, you should be willing to give up Uranus.
Kid with Cancer: "When I get older, I want to be a movie star or a singer."
Nurse: *Laughs*
Kid: "Why are you laughing?"
Nurse: "When I get OLDER."
Proceeds to laugh.
When you look at the sun, it's like looking at me.
Why did the Star Wars movies come out 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3?
Yoda was in charge of scheduling.
I'm no astronomer, but I’m pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.
What's the difference between a porn star and a mosquito?
One stops sucking when you smack it.
Are you sure your father isn't a thief?
Because he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
A: What's the similarity between your girlfriend and the sun?
B: They're both hot?
A: They're both massive.
If Adolf starred in the Room, his most iconic line would be “I did not Hitler! I did not!”
What is a porn star's favourite potato crisp flavour...
Prawn cocktail.
Yo mama so dumb that when she went to Starbucks, she thought she could buy a star.
What do CG artists and porn stars have in common?
They both composite (cum pose it) at the end.
Yesterday I saw an orphan kid playing GTA and told him he can't get 5 stars because he ain't wanted.
Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson has made a laudable, command decision to omit real firearms from his movie sets.
This being the case, he ought to produce, direct, and star in his next movie titled: “The Rubber Gun Squad!” 👌 😉
What candy loves shooting stars? Starbursts!