Star jokes

My new girlfriend is a porn star. She would probably kill me if she found out.

What's the worst thing to star in?

An amber alert.

Why do they make glow-in-the-dark condoms?

So gay people can play Star Wars.

Sixty years ago, Stephen Hawking's teacher got fired for accidentally making an offensive joke. What was it? Go for your dreams, kids. Reach for the stars.

What do you call a porn star that always goes back for more?

Craven Morehead.

I feel sad for orphans. They can't watch Star Wars because it's parental guidance.

I'm shocked that Kanye West never tried to get Carrie Underwood's number after Carrie starred in a pro-Aryan ad for Almay.

I walked into the doctor's surgery and he said to me, "Pick a star sign, any star sign." I said, "Capricorn." He said, "Nah, you got cancer."

I can tell a joke :)

Twinkle, twinkle, there's a car Coming like a shooting star. I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.

Why can't orphans have a five-star GTA because they're not wanted?

After watching Star Wars 8, I have to say Snoke was half the man I expected him to be.

My girlfriend is a porn star. -- She will kill me if she finds out.

What is an orphan's favorite quote in Star Wars?

"I am your father."

They should bring Michael Jackson back from the dead so he can star in the Peter Pan horror movie.

My girlfriend's a porn star.

She'd kill me if she found out.

Why did they invent glow-in-the-dark condoms? So gay people can play Star Wars.

Twinkle, twinkle little star. I hope I'll get hit by a car. I am not dead yet, I hope I'll die. I hope I'll be born to a new whole life.

It's Christmas morning, and all the decorations are done, but the tree looks like it's missing something. *grabs the noose*

James Woods, starring in the newest movie: "September 11, two thousand fun."

What do you call a kid watching Star Wars by themselves?

Hans Solo.