My sons into astromancy asked me how do stars die so I told him usually on overdose son.
Why can't heaven and hell ever be one 2nd paradise? Heaven always has 5 star reviews.
have you heard about the new movie with steven hawkings as the star? its called unplugged.
What is a porn star's favourite potato crisp flavour...
Why can't orphans stand Darth Vader? Because he's their father.
Prank phone calls. I did this prank last week, I picked the not so big buisness and places to do pranks phone calls. Burger King. Jcpennys. and nighbors. I will tell you what I said. Me: "Hello this is...Zariana and I am from New York." Burger king staff: "Will we work in Florida." Me: "Good now I want a large cake with some salad...with some eggnog...and some baby food" Burger king: "We don't serve any of that ma'am." Me: "And I want it to go please!" Burger king staff: "Sorry ma'am we don't ha- " And I hung up on him right before he could say have. Now JCPenneys ordering. Me: "Hello this is Trina from south carolina." Jcpennys register: "Yes what can I don for you ma'am ?" Me: "Excuse me"? Jcpennys register: "I was asking if there is anything you need help with ma'am." Me: "Sorry I can't hear you...what!" Jcpennys register: "WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO ORDER MA'AM." Me: "I still can't hear you! Say that again!!!" Jcpennys register: "Ma'am can you hear correclty?" Me: "YES I CAN...NOW YOUR GOING TO BODY SHAME THEN I WILL GIVE YOU A 1 STAR RATTING!!!!!!" Jcpennys register: "No ma'am I was just saying tha-" Hung up. Next one was on my nigbores. Mrs. Jarkinson. Me: "Hello, sorry to bother you but do you know what this word mean fhermkrekm"? Mrs. Jarkinson: "What who is this?" Me: "Ummm...Mrs. Keris!" Mrs. Jarkinson: " So what does what word mean again?'' Me: " fnjfnjrfnjr!" Mrs. Jarkinson: "What!!!" Me: "fnjefnj" Mrs. Jarkinson: SO SORRY WHAT!!!!!!! Me: "Never mind!" Hehehe! Hung up on here now Mr. Morris. Me: "Hola Sr. Morris. que pasa" Mr. Morris: "Sorry what I don't speake spanish!" Me: "Está bien ... di que no me hagas caso, ¡solo necesito ayuda!" Btw I used tranlater app and I learned really quickly! Mr. Morris: "What does that even mean!" Me: "Sí señor, veo dónde está su cabeza, pero ¿cómo se hace algún libro? ¿Me parece muy difícil? Jejejeje!" Mr. Morris: WHAT DOES THIS EVEN MEAN THOUGH!!! Me: "No señor, no se rinda en el primer intento de ballet! Debería ser fácil ... di de qué te quejas? Oh sorry I have to go!" Mr. Morris: "Wait but what does tha-" I bet your wondering how I got these phone calls rememberd will I recorded them! I don't how but I did. Btw Not spanish just learn really quickly.
Yo mama so fat she fat she makes the sun look like a dwarf star
Why was Han Solo so suspicious when he put his penis inside Princess Leia for the first time? -- Because it was Luke warm.
Twinkle Twinkle there’s a car Coming like a shooting star. I will stand in the way I will not be seen again Are you happy I am dead Now you made it to the end
Odo walks down the alley and turns into a bar.
What is a jedis favourite Italian dessert. Obi wan Cannoli
Why didn't the newest Star Wars movie start with the classic scrawl? Because it was a Rogue One!
What did a jockey's manager say to him before the race? Use the horse!
Stormtrooper: What should I do about my overdue library book?
Palpatine: Renew it!
Star Wars jokes: Qui gon Chinn, mace chindo, chinbakka, darth chinious, anachin skywalker
What does NASA stand for? Need a star asap
Gf:babe,do you love me Bf:count the stars and thats how much i love you\\ Gf:but its morning sweetie.... Bf:Exactly Gf: :0,Ill take that as a no
My wife and I’s gay marriage counselor advised us to watch porn together. So, we decided try it out one day and search up lesbian shemale porn…
And that’s the day she found out she was a porn star.
How many ears does Captain Picard have? -- Three: A left ear, a right ear and a final front ear.
What starts with s and ends with erm? SuperM. This means both matrix and master so take out the u and then you just get master. When you think of sperm you think of porn. If your a master at something your also a star at it. So you get porn star.