My Wife: How much do you love me??
Me: Count all the stars.
My Wife: Aww, infinity.
Me: No, a waste of time.
Husband: Honey, do you want sex?
Wife: No, thanks, I have a headache.
Husband: Is that your final answer?
Wife: Mmmmm.
Husband: Are you sure?
Wife: Yes.
Husband: No doubts?
Wife: No.
Husband staring a long time at his wife.
Husband: Okay, I wanna use my lifeline to call a friend.
Genie: What are your 3 wishes?
Me: Make every word 4 letters long.
Geni: Wish Gran.
Me: Make every word start with "br".
Genie: Brsh Bran.
Me: Bree: brke brer brrd brnd brth "uh".
Bruh: Bruh bruh.
Bruh: Bruh bruh bruh.
Bruh: Bruh bruh.
If Adolf starred in the Room, his most iconic line would be “I did not Hitler! I did not!”
Sun.
Uber driver: .........
Me: .........
Uber driver: .........
Me: 5 stars.
What did the cow say at night? Look at the moooon.
What starts with "s" and ends with "erm"? SuperM.
This means both "matrix" and "master" so take out the "u" and then you just get "master". When you think of sperm, you think of porn. If you're a master at something, you're also a star at it. So you get porn star.
Twinkle, twinkle, there’s a car Coming like a shooting star.
I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.
Why can't Heaven and Hell ever be one 2nd paradise?
Heaven always has 5-star reviews.
Why didn't the newest Star Wars movie start with the classic scrawl?
Because it was a Rogue One!
My wife and I’s gay marriage counselor advised us to watch porn together. So, we decided to try it out one day and search up lesbian shemale porn.
And that’s the day she found out she was a porn star.
Your race's favorite Star Wars Characters:
Arab...Admiral Ackbar (Allahu Akbar)
East Asian...Qui-Gon Jinn (Ching-Chong-Wing-Wong)
Jew...Rey (Ray)
Black...BB-8 (BBC)
Italian...Jabba the Hutt (Pizza Hut)
German...Admiral Piett (Hitler)
Vladimir Putin is probably a homophobe because he has to go through life with the name of a gay porn star.
What do CG artists and porn stars have in common?
They both composite (cum pose it) at the end.
Yo mama's so fat, Darth Vader wanted her to be the Death Star!
Reviews for the Chinese flag are in!
5 stars!
Why is the sun so attractive? Because it is burning hot!
Astrophysics fact: If you count every star on a Saturday night, you're autistic.
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