Stand jokes
If there is a guy in a wheelchair and he is a bully, say, "I’m still standing."
Why do gay people only stand crooked? Cuz they can’t be straight.
What is a disabled person's least favorite song?
"I'm Still Standing."
This is a true fact, the letter "F" in orphan stands for family.
How do you confuse a blonde?
Tell them to stand in the corner in a round room.
The kid in the wheelchair was getting bullied, so I encouraged him to stand up for himself. I don't know why he started crying.
P.S. My brother made this up when he had no meds... I almost died.
What does ATM stand for?
Answer: Amy’s Terrible Mom.
😂🤣
What do the initials POOP stand for?
Polacks Order Our Poop. 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩
I'm surprised that the tree is still standing when my emo friend is hanging from it.
Stephen was a mad role model. He never taught me to stand up for myself.
He was in a fight, then a person said, "Stand up for yourself!"
Two friends were hanging out with each other next to a tree.
Too bad only one was standing. :)
Why do violists stand for long periods outside of people's houses? They can't find the key and don't know when to come in.
The "p" in Africa stands for peace.
A guy asked me what I do for a living.
Now I'm not old enough to get a job, so I said nothing. He asked me again, so I said, "Your wife!" The guy goes to slap me, but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"
One time there was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track. A girl said, "Excuse me, can you move, please? I'm trying-" Then the man stopped her sentence and said, "How is your t-shirt so clean?" Then she said back, "Easy, hung it up."
I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and I asked him, "Why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics, and building supplies in your basement?"
He responded with, "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time I perform, people tell me I need new material!"
A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up, and the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up, so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?” He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”
My teacher asked the class to stand up if you're dumb. No one did, so she said, "Come on, someone must be dumb," and pointed over to the left side of the classroom. Lil Jonny stands up. "Do you think you're dumb, Lil Jonny?" asked the teacher. "No, I just feel bad for you. You're the only one who stood up," replied Lil Jonny!
What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools? A fruit stand.