Stand jokes
I love Steven Hawking’s stand-up comedy!
What do you call an emo kid standing outside the mall?
Anything, he'll cry no matter what you say.
What stands on the side of the road and needs a lot of money to buy?
Billboard, did you think I was gonna say street walker?
Stand in the corner.
Q: Why did the ballerina get kicked off the squad?
She was standing way too close to the dancers.
A handicapped person tells a good joke, but he can't be a stand up comedian.
I've started playing the triangle for a reggae band. It's pretty casual.
I just stand at the back and ting.
What do you call two terrorists standing next to each other with their dicks out?
The Twin Towers.
Your forehead is so big I could stand on it.
After a week of this, she can't stand it any longer.
The woman goes into her supervisor's office and tells him that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit against the man and explains why.
Dad: Where is my son?
Son: Come join me with musical chairs, except we stand on them.
Dad: Ok, so do we put this round our neck?
Son: YES!
Mum: AHHHHHHHHHHHH
You’re so short, you could sweep under your bed while standing.
Must. Escape. Meme.
Existence is what meme stands for for some haters.
Stand? Wait. No.
Someone booted Stephen Hawking offline. Maybe next time he will stand for the pledge/anthem.
My friend told me I should be a stand up comedian but... I prefer sitting.
The penis has a sad life. His hair is always a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him.
He also stands up for kids who can't defend themselves.
What does Army stand for?
Ain't Ready to be a Marine Yet.
What does Marine stand for?
My Ass Rides In Navy Equipment
What does Marine stand for?
Muscles Are Required Intelligence Not Expected