Why was Stephen Hawking always bullied?
Because he couldn’t stand up for himself.
A man is standing on the side of the road, waiting to cross, when another man stands alongside him. The first man says, "I have been waiting to cross here for ages. It's impossible to cross."
The second man says, "There is a zebra crossing up the road." He said, "I hope he is having better luck than I am!"
A man finds his son climbing the roof of his house. The kid kept using all sorts of material to climb up, but the dad didn't pay much attention.
Next day the kid went to the state tower and kept climbing using some adhesive gloves. The dad asks his son for a second time: "Son! Why are you doing this?" The son replies: "You told me to aim up high!"
I stole a wheelchair from a disabled kid. What is he going to do, stand up?
The "M" and "D" in "orphan" stands for Mom and Dad.
Why are all women's feet small? So they can stand closer to the stove.
What does the A stand for in "orphan, adopt" from the orphan company?
Boy: The F in orphan stands for family.
Orphan: But there’s no F in orphan.
Boy: Exactly!
Twinkle, twinkle, there’s a car Coming like a shooting star.
I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.
Roses are red.
Your passports are blue.
Now go stand over there,
In that very long queue!
NASA stands for "Nobody Already Seen Astronauts."
What do you say to a crippled man getting bullied?
"Why not you stand up for yourself?"
What do the initials FEMA stand for?
Federal Erection Management Agency.
What is the difference between the Twin Towers and Elton John?
Elton John is still standing.
Why couldn't Professor Xavier fight Magneto? Because he couldn't stand up for himself.
Three guys are standing in an alley on an alien planet, and the psycho one says, "However many tits your girl has is how many balls you have!"
The first guy says, "Ha! My girlfriend has six! I'm racked up!" The second guy said, "Eh, I am happy with two balls." The third guy said, "Shit! My girlfriend is flat as fuck!"
A guy listening in enters and says, "Bro, you actually have girlfriends. I do not. Does that mean I have a pussy?"
A plane is about to crash into the ocean, and the passengers are freaking out.
A woman stands up, takes off her clothes, and says, "Before I go, is there a man man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, takes off his shirt, and says, "Here, iron this!"
He couldn’t stand it anymore with his sister because he is in a wheelchair.
What does RIP stand for on Maddie's head stone?
Raped in Portugal!
A teacher is teaching a class algebra. Timmy, you've worked out it is AK, but what is 59 minus 12? Timmy shakes his head, not knowing. The teacher asks, "How about AK 49 minus 2?" Timmy replies with um... The teacher becomes frustrated and yells, "What comes after AK, Timmy!?" The white kid at the back stands, shouts 47, and pulls the trigger.
