Sport jokes

Why was the baseball player stuck in the stadium?

'Cause he made his home run.

If Stephen Hawking had a FIFA card, he would have 99 dribble.

What's WWE called in Africa?

Shadow fight.

Why do orphans like playing tennis so much?

Because it’s the only way they’ll ever get love.

Why was the rapper bad at basketball?

He could only dribble rhymes.

What do you call a wheelchair kid that is on fire?

Hot Wheels.

Penalties. Tap ins. Ghosting. Diving.

Long ago, the four lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed when the Germans attacked. Only Penaldo, master of all four elements, could stop them, but when his country needed him most, he vanished.

I woke up when I heard a strange noise coming from my kitchen.

I turned on the light, and I saw none other than the exposed flop GHOSTNALDO. He asked me if I had PenalTEA, his favorite drink. I said no and yelled, "There is a big game tomorrow!" and he disappeared.

My son and I went on a tour to the Old Trafford Stadium. We were admiring the 76,000 seat arena when he suddenly pointed at the pitch.

“Dad, who is that man camping there?” I said, “Son, that is Bruno Penandes. He lives in that Penalty box. He only performs in small games.”

Girl: Boys are like sports, they get played.

Boy: Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.

Why did Jesus not win any Stanley Cups? Because he was cut from the team because he kept being pinned to the boards.

Don't you find it ironic that Kobe Bryant bounced his helicopter off the ground like a basketball?

MISSING!! MISSING!! 🚨

Name-pionel PESSI Missing: 09/03/2021 vs Madrid Characteristics: Disappearing in big games + Diving + always ranting "give me penalty"

Possible Locations: Penalty Spot, St etienne

Last seen- Alaba’s Pocket

⚠️ ⚠️: don’t walk around with pens

I was in the Sahara Desert, dying of thirst. Thankfully, Pionel Pessi, the debut man, came to my rescue👨‍🚒. He brought in 100's of helicopters filled with bottles to quench my thirst. I asked him how he had so many bottles; "big games," he replied. Thanks for saving my life, my idol.

It's about bottling.

It's about crying.

I stay finished, I fake retire.

Put in the diving.

Put in the ghosting

And take my fake trophies.

Eibar and Bolivia in my veins.

My Barcelona banged by Bayern.

I bottle the game, so what's my farmer's name? (Pessi)

What do black men in the NBA like about going to the locker room after they are done playing basketball?

Receiving golden showers from other black teammates.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they don't know where home is.

Who is an orphan's favorite soccer player?

Been fostered.

What is the difference between a school bus and a baseball?

You can throw a baseball, and you can’t throw a school bus.

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

They don't know what home is.