Sport jokes
My cousin really loves baseball.
He always brags about how many home runs he hit in the minors.
Listen, Man United might not thank me but get the contract out, put it on the table. Let him sign it, let him write whatever numbers he wants to put on there, given what he's done since he's come in. Ole's at the wheel, man. He's doing it. He's doing his thing. Man United are BACK.
Why does Adam go hockey, you might ask?
In my opinion, he shouldn't go because he is bad, but he needs the armor to protect himself from his own step-dad.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Why don't Chinese people play cricket?
Because they ate all the bats!
Memes
"Just because I don't like Lewis Hamilton, doesn't make me racist."
What do you call Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't find their parents.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t have a home base.
Why was the baseball player stuck in the stadium?
'Cause he made his home run.
What do black men in the NBA like about going to the locker room after they are done playing basketball?
Receiving golden showers from other black teammates.
It's about bottling.
It's about crying.
I stay finished, I fake retire.
Put in the diving.
Put in the ghosting
And take my fake trophies.
Eibar and Bolivia in my veins.
My Barcelona banged by Bayern.
I bottle the game, so what's my farmer's name? (Pessi)
MISSING!! MISSING!! 🚨
Name-pionel PESSI Missing: 09/03/2021 vs Madrid Characteristics: Disappearing in big games + Diving + always ranting "give me penalty"
Possible Locations: Penalty Spot, St etienne
Last seen- Alaba’s Pocket
⚠️ ⚠️: don’t walk around with pens
I was in the Sahara Desert, dying of thirst. Thankfully, Pionel Pessi, the debut man, came to my rescue👨🚒. He brought in 100's of helicopters filled with bottles to quench my thirst. I asked him how he had so many bottles; "big games," he replied. Thanks for saving my life, my idol.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
What do you call a wheelchair kid that is on fire?
Hot Wheels.
Who is an orphan's favorite soccer player?
Been fostered.
Penalties. Tap ins. Ghosting. Diving.
Long ago, the four lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed when the Germans attacked. Only Penaldo, master of all four elements, could stop them, but when his country needed him most, he vanished.
I woke up when I heard a strange noise coming from my kitchen.
I turned on the light, and I saw none other than the exposed flop GHOSTNALDO. He asked me if I had PenalTEA, his favorite drink. I said no and yelled, "There is a big game tomorrow!" and he disappeared.