Speed jokes

I don’t know why I go to the gym. Being healthy is dying as fast as possible, and I really want to speed that shit up.

Where would the next Formula race happen?

Answer: On your flat chest.

TDS - Too Damn Slow!

Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?

A: 9/11 victims. They went through 89 stories in 7 seconds.

What is the speed limit for sex? 68, because if you go any faster, you’ll have to turn around.

What did the cheetah tell the other cheetah when they had a test?

"Cheetah, cheetah!"

Once a cheetah, always a cheetah.

What is red and green and goes 100 miles per hour?

A frog in a blender.

There was this Down syndrome boy that always wanted to be a cop, and he did. He pulled someone over and said, "Know why I pulled you over?"

The guy replied, "Because I was speeding?"

He said, "No, because you're black."

Why are cheetahs bad at running away? They always get spotted.

Who is the fastest reader? The 9/11 victims, because they went through 20 stories.

What is cheetah's favorite taste to run fast?

Cheetah outta here!

Simba was walking too slow so I told him to Mufasa.

How fast is the speed of sex?

68 because at 69 you've got to turn around.

Sonic says: "Gotta go fast!"

The Hulk SMASH!

Orphan says: "Gotta go home!"

You say to your slow friend: "Damn, you're slower than Stephen Hawking!" And that takes some talent.

Your hairline and my car go Lighting McQueen speed because he never came back with the milk.

Who are the fastest readers?

9/11 victims, they went through 91 stories in 11.2 seconds.

What is more fun than spinning a clown around on a clothes line at 100 miles an hour?

Stopping it with a pitchfork.

Your hairline be going up and down like a Formula 1 car!