Speed jokes

What do you get if you cross hot wheels, hot legs? Hehe.

Yo mama is so ugly, she makes the Flash stop dead in his tracks.

TDS - Too Damn Slow!

Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.

Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.

I don’t know why I go to the gym. Being healthy is dying as fast as possible, and I really want to speed that shit up.

What did the cheetah tell the other cheetah when they had a test?

"Cheetah, cheetah!"

Once a cheetah, always a cheetah.

What is red and green and goes 100 miles per hour?

A frog in a blender.

There was this Down syndrome boy that always wanted to be a cop, and he did. He pulled someone over and said, "Know why I pulled you over?"

The guy replied, "Because I was speeding?"

He said, "No, because you're black."

Who is the fastest reader? The 9/11 victims, because they went through 20 stories.

What is cheetah's favorite taste to run fast?

Cheetah outta here!

Why are cheetahs bad at running away? They always get spotted.

Simba was walking too slow so I told him to Mufasa.

Why did the cheetah get sad?

'Cause it didn't have any balls to suck.

Yo mama is so slow, they had to wait six hours for the crane to finally show up.

Bro, you ever think while driving the moped why they call it a footrest when the foot never lets it rest? The foot is working harder than the engine. You push, push, but still go the same speed like a turtle with a bad mood during a rabbit race...

How fast is the speed of sex?

68 because at 69 you've got to turn around.

Sonic says: "Gotta go fast!"

The Hulk SMASH!

Orphan says: "Gotta go home!"

You say to your slow friend: "Damn, you're slower than Stephen Hawking!" And that takes some talent.

What is more fun than spinning a clown around on a clothes line at 100 miles an hour?

Stopping it with a pitchfork.