Sound jokes
Two women, Jane and Emma, are in the afterlife waiting for judgement.
Emma turns to Jane and says, "I'm just curious, but how did you die?"
Jane replies with, "I burnt to death."
Emma, shocked, responds with, "That sounds horrible! What was it like?"
Jane answers with, "It first felt really hot and painful, but then I felt nothing. How did you die?"
Emma replies with, "Well, I believed my husband was cheating on me. I decided to leave work early one day to make sure he was loyal. I found him on the phone with his mother. I thought he was hiding something from me so I ran to the bedroom and found nothing. Then I sprinted to the kitchen and didn't find anything. I then jolted outside to the backyard and just found that he hadn't cleaned the pool. I was so tired from running that I fell over into the pool and drowned."
Jane retorts with, "Well if you checked the oven neither of us would be here right now."
What is the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can't hear an enzyme.
A sad guy called "nun" is crying next to the grave of his best friend called "month". "Month" got killed by a gay guy, and after that, "nun" got homophobic.
While "nun" is sitting next to "month"'s grave, he heard a guy ask his friend: 《Do You Wanna Play A Game On?》 "Nun" got angry and he asked that guy: 《What did you just say to your friend?》 The guy answers: 《A game on, why?》
"Nun" kills the two guys.
🤔
When the nlgga is farting!!!
What does Chainsaw Man's chainsaw say as he chases a black person?
"Runnnnigernigernigerniger..."
Why are mountains 🏔 so funny? Because they’re hill areas, do you get it? They are hill areas, like a mountain is a hill area. It sounds like hilarious, so you get it.
What’s black and rings the doorbell?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
Nobody:
Titanic: sYnCccCc
Iceberg: yAaaYeEee
People: yAaanOooO
Ocean: fUuudD
Six one.
What do you call a 100-year-old frog?
An old croak!
Dad: What do you call a crazy creeper?
Mom: Shit, I don't know...
Kid: Crrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Dad: That's my boy's!!!
Ha ha ha, kya bath hai.
Bus went vrrrrrrrm.
I've just started a new business making people breathe in large amounts of helium. They all speak very highly of it.
"Meow, meow, woof, woof." That's what animals say to me when I die.
Q: What does a microwave and an M1 Garand have in common?
A: They both go “ping” when they’re done.
What gets louder as it gets smaller?
A baby in a trash compactor.
Knock knock.
Who is there?
Cows go.
Cows go who?
No, cows go moooooooooooo, not whooooooooooooooooooooo!
The pterodactyl went in my bathroom and peed.
When I was in the shower, I couldn't hear it. Why? Because the "p" is silent.
What does it sound like when a dragon sings? A fire alarm.