Sound jokes
What do you call a door that bells? A doorbell.
Would you like some wine with those French cries?
A man is depressed and he sighs. A bully says, "Stop sighing, you sound like some guys having a threesome!"
What do you call mouse sneakers? Squeakers!
Why can I be black? Because I look like I have puberty, and I sound like I had puberty.
What game console do emergency vehicles play? Wii U!!!
I find it difficult to count to ten in French: un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept.
I can't say the next one because I have a "huit" allergy.
I heard World War 50000000 in my parent's room.
For some reason, quarks sound really strange to me.
Alpha Kenny body?
I like your cut, G.
*Slaps really hard*
BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
How do you make a cat say woof? You cover it in petrol and light a match.
Why do women love wind chimes?
They vibrate.
"Why couldn’t the DJ keep any of the fish he caught?
He kept dropping the bass."
Why does the Please Touch Museum sound like "police touch museum?"
Because they gotta watch out for the pedos.
*School Shooter Walks In*
That one kid who plays "Pumped Up Kicks" at max volume.
How does a train sneeze?
It goes, "A-choo choo!"
What’s the difference between a fly and Lady Diana?
The sound when they hit the windshield.
What did the rapper say to the computer?
“Yo, stop laggin’ my FLOW!”
What did Ahsan do?
Meow meow.