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Sound jokes

What is the difference between your new teacher and a train?

Your teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Choo Choo!"

I asked my girlfriend if she was a smoke alarm. She said, "Is it because I warned him when hotness came?" I said, "No, you don’t shut up!"

So I was in the car with my mom one time and we always joke about me being adopted (I am not), and Michael Jackson's song "Billie Jean" sounds like my name, and so my mom says, as the song is playing, "(My name) is not my daughter, she's just a girl who claims that I am her mum." Wow. *applauds for mother* Love you momma =)

There was a little boy named Chris who was addicted to Roblox.

One day, his grandpa fell into a deep coma caused by a head injury.

One day, little Chris went to visit his poor grandpa. He brought his Windows 10 too, but it had no charge in it. After pulling out some wires and placing his into the wall, he started to hear a long beeping sound, but ignored it and continued to play Roblox. Chris's parents came and saw what had happened.

The dad then yelled, "You dumb f***, you killed my father!!!"

Then Chris said "Yeah. He was worth robucks, too."

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    • Guy 1: P-gay or T-gay?

    Guy 2: P-gay sounds cooler.

    Guy 1: Yeah me too. I don't like P-ewDiePie, always love T-series.

    Guy 2: Omg what did i just say? I wasn't even knowing what were you talking about :<

    Guy 1: Like I do care :$

    Guy 3: But I do care :<

    Guy 1: F*ck you.

    Guy 3: Do it.

    Guy 2: But you do care about me.

    Guy 3: No.

    Guy 2: F*ck you.

    Guy 3: Do it.

    :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

    A sad guy called "nun" is crying next to the grave of his best friend called "month". "Month" got killed by a gay guy, and after that, "nun" got homophobic.

    While "nun" is sitting next to "month"'s grave, he heard a guy ask his friend: 《Do You Wanna Play A Game On?》 "Nun" got angry and he asked that guy: 《What did you just say to your friend?》 The guy answers: 《A game on, why?》

    "Nun" kills the two guys.

    🤔

    Two old people sitting on a bench. One turns to the other and says, "My butt fell asleep." The other says, "Yep, I heard it snore a couple of times."

    Three Indians get captured by an enemy leader, and the leader says, "Go in the woods and find 10 fruits of the same kind."

    The first one comes back with apples. The enemy leader says, "Shove them up your butt and don't make a sound, or I will kill you." He gets to two and yells. The leader kills him. He goes up to heaven.

    The second guy comes back and has grapes. He gets to 9 and laughs. The leader kills him. He goes to heaven.

    The first guy asks the second guy why he laughed, saying he had it in the bag. The second guy said he saw the third guy carrying pineapples.