Sound jokes
What do you call a mountain of kittens? A meowtain.
I sat down to eat some ice cream. The next moment, I screamed!
What does the Peanut Butter Baby say?
"Ah!"
A mouse is just like a ball bearing.
Drench them in oil, and they stop squeaking.
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don’t work.
You: Say "addicted" after everything I say.
Person: Uh okay.
You: When you're obsessed with candy you are...?
Person: Addicted.
You: When you're obsessed with drugs you are...?
Person: Addicted.
You: What hit you in the face last night?
Person: Addicted... *laughs*
(It's supposed to sound like "A dick did")
A bass drum is the boss.
What's brown and sounds like a bell?
Dung.
ble get get get gettttt pull the glock pew pew pew pew pew thats the silencer BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM
What is a panda's favorite cooking implement?
A pan-duh.
What do cows listen to?
Moo-sic.
If hay is for horses, what is for unicorns?
Haaaaaaay!
What is Helen Keller's favorite color?
Velcro.
Knock knock. Who's there? Ach. Ach who? Bless you!
What do we want? Plane noises!
When do we need it? Neeooooooowwwww!
ooOooOooOwwwwwwwwwnipplenipplenipplenipplenipple shat y lif.
What's a duck's favorite drug?
Cwack.
Tell someone to say "alpha" and then "kenny one". Tell them to say it very fast. Tell them it sounded like they said, "I'll fuck anyone!"
What is the difference between tuna, a piano, and glue? You can tuna a piano, but you cannot piano a tuna.
(The person you ask should say what about the glue.) Response: I knew you would get stuck there.
What is the difference between your new teacher and a train?
Your teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Choo Choo!"