SOS Jokes

Your mama is so fat when she went camping the Bears hid their food from her

Why are Americans so good at solving Rubik’s cubes? Because they have a history of separating colors.

Why do people keep on making jokes about the twin towers? Because they go down so well

My wife wanted a present that could go from Zero to 80 very quickly.

So I got her a new set of bathroom scales.

So a guy named Nathaniel just came home, and when he enters his sister’s room, he sees her f***ing a piece of broccoli. And Nathaniel says, “Abbie, what’s wrong with you? I was going to eat that later, and now it smells like broccoli!”

The cemetery is so overcrowded. People are just dying to get in.

why is orphan so scared of the dark they don't have a dad to check the closet,

So I was mining off the coast of Canada and one of my co-workers found gold. I said AU, bring that over here!

why are americans so dumb?

because they shoot the ones that go to school

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

UR SO POOR YOU WASH PAPER PLATES

Why are mountains so funny? -- Because they are hill areas.

I’m so gay I could barely think straight.

A woman decides to take a well-earned vacation and she asks her brother to watch her cat while she's away.

On the second day, when she calls her brother to see how things are going he tells her bluntly that the cat is dead.

The woman is really upset and goes into hysterics, before saying, "You can't tell a person bad news so bluntly. You should break the news gently. The first day, you should have said that Fluffy was stuck on the roof and couldn't get down. The second day, you could have said that she had fallen, but the vet said she would be okay. Then on the third day you could have said that she died from complications."

The next day, the woman calls her brother again and asks how things are. He says, "Well, Grandma is stuck on the roof and can't get down ..."

Alex: Dad can we get me a little brother from the orphanage? dad: Sure Alex! dad: Were here! orphanage manager: Alex! You are so big now! Alex: Dad what is she talking about?!