My wife accused me of being a cross dresser so i packed up her clothes and left
So I didn't want my mom going through my laptop so I put a touch screen on it where you just have to tap the screen to unlock it jokes on her she doesn't have any fingers.
My wife thinks i'm immature, so I told her to get out of my fort.
Yo mama is so dumb, she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
Your mama is so ugly that her birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom company
I'm so depressed that when I smile my Face ID doesn't recognize me
They say there’s a person capable of murder in every friendship group. I suspected it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.
Roses are red Lemons are sour Open your legs So I can devour
I'm so depressed that when I smile my Face ID won't work
so I and my friend were talking this time, I asked them what they would do if they ever met rengoku they said that they would probably like shake his hand or sm but I said I would lick his forehead. wtf
Why is it so hard to choose between buying a Subaru or a Volvo? Because you’re deciding whether you want to look like a rapist or a pedophile
Blue: The ocean is place where the creatures live Black: NIGHTMARES LIVE Blue:it has many pretty things and it will- Black: KILL YA TO DEATH! Especially if you are on titanic! so let that sink in. PUN INTENDED!
There is this celebrity everybody thought was so down to earth. That was until he hung himself.
A shark can swim faster than me, but I can run faster than a shark.
So in a triathlon, it would all come down to whoever can ride a bike the fastest.
so the teacher go up to you and says im going to call your parents me: good luck finding them
My son asked me how i'm so clean,"inside out.". I told him because of bleach. the next day I found him drinking the bleach.
Yo mama so fat that when i banged her in the jacuzzi there was a level 8 tsunami
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
"I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying." -Charlie Chaplin
you're so ugly that Everytime you look up in the sky god say sorry can't help you
