SOS Jokes

Alex: Dad, can we get me a little brother from the orphanage?

Dad: Sure, Alex! We're here!

Orphanage manager: Alex! You are so big now!

Alex: Dad, what is she talking about?!

Three men are traveling through the desert when their single camel dies. They walk for a while, but then it becomes night. Desperate for shelter, they suddenly stumble across a tent, and inside are three beautiful women. The men were not only lost but horny, too, so they begin to have sex with the women. But the tent belongs to a prince, and these three women were his wives, so he is very angry when he arrives an hour later and sees three strangers having sex with his wives. He tells the three men he will chop off their penises as punishment, in some way relating to their job. He asks the first man what his job is:

The guy says, "I'm a fireman."

The prince says, "Then we'll burn your dick off!"

The second guy says, "I'm an employee at the shooting range."

The prince says, "Then we'll shoot your dick off!"

The third guy smiles and says, "I'm a lollipop salesman."

My wife accused me of being a cross-dresser, so I packed up her clothes and left.

So I didn't want my mom going through my laptop, so I put a touch screen on it where you just have to tap the screen to unlock it. Jokes on her, she doesn't have any fingers.

So the teacher goes up to you and says, "I'm going to call your parents." Me: "Good luck finding them."

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill's candy. Jack got a shock and a mouth full of cock because Jill's real name is Randy.

"I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying."

- Charlie Chaplin

My son asked me how I'm so clean, "inside out." I told him because of bleach. The next day, I found him drinking the bleach.