SOS jokes

Your hairline go so far back it remember the Civil War, ugly ahh.

My doctor gave me 1 year. So I shot him.

The judge gave me fifteen. Problem solved!

your hair line goes so far the dinosaurs will see it

Why are liberals so bad at playing hockey? Because it is played on ICE

I keep hearing "Obesity kills."

My only question is "Why is it taking so long?"

My nephew hated working outside in landscaping, so I got him a job in the twin towers; I don't know why he keeps complaining about it being an inside job.

The real reason women are always cold is because they’re not in front of a stove or an oven. So, naturally, when they leave the habitat, they need to have two blankets.

My therapist said, "Time heals all wounds," so I cut her.

Yo Mama is so fat that Nationwide took nine years to get on her side.

All right, I know one joke. Um, there's a mollusk, see? And he walks up to a sea...

Well, he doesn't walk up, he swims up.

Well, actually, the mollusk isn't moving, he's in one place.

And then the sea cucumber, well, they... I mixed up.

There was a mollusk and a sea cucumber. None of them were walking, so forget that...

There was this mollusk and he walks up to a sea cucumber. Normally they don't talk, sea cucumbers, but in a joke, everyone talks.

So just then, the sea cucumber looks over to the mollusk and says, "With fronds like these, who needs anemones?"

Your forehead's so big, NASA uses it to test satellite signals.

Your hairline's so far back, even Rosa Parks refused to sit in the back; it went all the way there itself.

Doctor: "I am so sorry, I cannot see you today."

Orphan: "Oh, okay. What about tomorrow?"

Doctor: "No, I can't see you ever."

Orphan: "Why?"

Doctor: "Because I am a family doctor."

Your forehead’s so big it got sponsored by GAP.

Why is America so bad at playing chess?

They lost two towers.

Comedy is so woke these days. You can't make fun of any disadvantaged group.

Except people with Alzheimer's. They'll just forget you made the joke in five minutes anyway.

Why is divorce so expensive?

Because it's worth it.

The Twin Towers were mad at each other, so they all just started launching planes at themselves.

Your hairline is so bad, I do your mom so hard!

Q: What song were the pilots of 9/11 listening to? A: 'So Let's Set The World On Fire.'