SOS jokes

Your mum is so cool, she looks like a fridge. Quote: Jude Porters.

I hate "the woke" so much, I got mad when my mom said I "woke" up late for school.

I was going to charge my phone, so I pulled a plug and put it in. Then, my grandpa wasn't breathing anymore.

Huggy's so fat, Playtime Co. had to make him a monument of fatness.

Your mama is so fat that when she jumped, they found water on Mars.

Your momma so slutty, she got banned from Heavy-R.

Yo mama is so fat that even CaseOh couldn't bang her.

Shortly after the hole was finished, everyone in the forest was looking for long grass to fill the hole. The upper layer covered it with short grass and scattered some grass around the hole so it didn't seem as conspicuous. The next evening, the villagers hid in their houses and turned off the lights and waited inside, while one of the farmers stood outside and, if possible, unobtrusively skimped on a cart.

Around midnight, the Headless Rider appeared with his horse in the village. He saw the seemingly single peasant scooping his hay and rode towards him. He was about to swing his axe, and while he was doing so, he overlooked the slightly more scattered grass near the farmer – and thus fell into the trap. He clumsily slumped into the prefabricated hole together with his horse and now lay there helplessly inside, together with his horse, which swayed in panic as the rider's axe was stuck in its back.

When the villagers heard this, they all stormed out of the houses to surround the hole. They saw the Headless Rider, and when he noticed all the villagers around him, he cursed: “Gaaah! You stupid villagers caught me! I can't do much down here. I give up.” The villagers took his axe away from him. Now they only needed a just punishment for the rider.

One of the villagers shouted: “We should tie him to a rope and hang him! He tried to kill us all and plagued us for a long time. So we should kill him and let him suffer for a long time!” The other villagers agreed with him. So they tied a thick rope to a branch of a large tree that stood in the village garden. The villagers took the Headless Rider out of the hole and dragged him to the rope. As they were about to hang the rope around his neck, they noticed that something didn't fit in their plan to hang the Headless Rider. Then the Headless Rider cried out: “You stupid mortals, I have no head at all! Why are you trying to hang me?”

Why do leftists strive for a literate population?

So people can understand their wall of text memes.

Your hairline is so far back, even the Flintstones knew of it.

World leaders are so old, they've got nostalgia for the Cambrian explosion.

You're so slow, the sped kid is your tutor.

Yo mama so poor, the homeless donate to her.

What’s the difference between toilet paper and a curtain?

So, it was you....

Why is it so hard to find people defending suicide in any discussion?

Because they are really committed to their cause.

You're so skinny that a Wi-Fi signal is stronger.

Your forehead is so big, explorers mistakenly thought it was Mount Everest.

Your forehead is so big, they used it for the Berlin Wall and the USA border.

Your hairline goes so far back that it has no records of it happening in history.

Your hairline goes so back that it’s ingrained in history.