It's good that Canada doesn't have the death sentence for treason anymore.
Danielle Smith is so fucking fat she'd get stuck in the gallows.
How names were named.
"I have to go because my tailor is at the gym where he will chase coal before dawn."
"SAY THAT AGAIN. SO MANY GOOD NAMES!"
If you look for something for 10 days and a woman walks in, opens a cabinet, and finds it:
So, just hire a female pope for the Holy Grail that has been missing for 500 years so she just opens a cabinet and she finds it.
My girlfriend told me women are better at multitasking than men. So I told her to sit down and shut up. Guess what...
She couldn't do either!
Having survived a severe injury in my past, I'm kind of glad paramedics didn't succeed in bringing the United Healthcare CEO back.
I was suffering so bad I got delirious and thought that the nurses were putting poison in my water cup.
That CEO was so hated that one of the nurses probably WOULD have slipped him something!
My mom thinks I need to stop objectifying women. I think she is overreacting.
She asked why I broke up with the last girl, and I said,
"It didn't work out."
She told me to be more specific, so I said,
"I just told you, she didn't exercise."
Why are women and children evacuated first in a disaster?
So we can think about a solution in silence.
I heard Danielle Smith likes trains.
So I told her to go stand in front of one.
So I was at a restaurant and I really hit it off with the waitress, so one thing led to another and I'm at her place and she was really nice at the IHOP but when I was there with her she was all like "ahhh! what are you doing!?!?!? how did you get in my house?!?!?" and then she punched me and I'm the one who ended up in prison.
Yo mama so slutty the abortion clinic gave her a loyalty card and coupon for 20% off her next abortion.
Fat kids are so fat, they have their own gravitational pull.
Yo mama is so fat, she falls off both sides of the bed.
"People are more honest when they are tired, so I made my nephew do push-ups 50 times when I realized he stole my cookies."
Yo mama's so fat, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl!
Yo mama's so stupid, she frickin' died at the Super Bowl!
Yo mamma is so dumb that she smokes to burn calories!
Your teeth are so out of line, even James Charles is straighter than them.
Like if you like porn.
Santa decided coal was too expensive, so he started putting shredded lettuce and mayo in naughty kid's lockers... he calls it the coal's law.
Your mama's so fat, she runs a trade deficit with food!
This morning I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator.
I was staring at boobs, and she said, "Press One?"
So I did...
I don't remember much after that.
