SOS Jokes

Mama

Yo mama so stupid, she put a ruler under a pillow to see how long she slept.

Norway

Why does the Norway navy have barcodes on the sides of their ships?

So when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.

Lottery

I won the lottery for a million dollars today, so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity.

I now have $999,999.75.

  • 2
  • Game

    Friend: Want to play Fall Guys?

    Friend 2: Yup.

    Friend: Ok, so let me ju- wait, where are you going?

    Friend 2: I'm gonna jump off.

    Friend: Why?

    Friend 2: We are playing Fall Guys, right?

    Abortion

    Having an abortion will make you so tired... it literally sucks the life out of you.

  • 0
  • Thief

    Why is the thief so good at basketball? Because he can shoot, steal, and run.

    Condom

    Two brothers play on the street. One of them finds a condom on the ground. Not knowing what it is, they go to their mum and ask what it is that they found. Mum gets mad and yells to throw that away immediately.

    Guys go back to the yard, surprised why their mum got mad for just latex. One of them says: "Why did mum get so angry?" The other: "I have no idea, thankfully we did not tell her that we've eaten the yogurt inside!"

    Yo mama

    Yo mama so fat when she jumped in the water, the whales started singing "We are a family, even though you fatter than me."

    Yo mama

    Yo mama so ugly when her parents had a gender reveal party the balloon came out green.

    Kid

    "Oh daddy," the kid said. "I love you so much!"

    "Hey," the man responded. "Until we get the DNA test results, I'm just Harry to you!"

    Kid

    So there was this kid being bullied by four other kids. I decided to step in.

    He didn’t stand a chance against the five of us.

  • 5
  • Rape

    I got arrested for raping a girl. Its so unfair, i really thought she was dead.

  • 9
  • Dad

    Roses are red, violets are blue. Your dad is gay, so are you.

    Kelly Clarkson

    Kelly Clarkson wants to be Rosie O'Donnell so badly. Too bad Kelly is the "Queen of Incest" and not the "Queen of Nice".

    (And Kelly came from a sundown town in the Deep South, and not from Long Island.)

    Day

    Astronomers got tired of watching the moon rotate around the earth for 24 hours, so they just called it a "day".