Son

Son jokes

Foreskin

  • "OK, son," he says. "It's as easy as counting to 5."

    1. Pull down your pants. 2. Pull back your foreskin. 3. Pee in the toilet. 4. Put your foreskin back. 5. Pull up your pants.

    From then on, every time the boy goes to the toilet, he counts from 1 to 5. One day, the father noticed his son was taking quite some time in the toilet. He went to check on him and overheard his son saying, "2,4,2,4,2,4,2,4."

  • 6
  • Hitler

  • So, apparently, Hitler's dad was quite the abusive fellow, always beating his son.

    Guess that's why he's called (Hit)ler.

  • 2
  • Adoption

  • Son: Dad, I have black skin and you have white skin, are you sure you're my parents?

    Dad: Oh... well I never thought it would come to this, or to your head that you were kidnapped...

    Son: Am I kidnapped?

    Dad: Well, you're adopted, and if you want to see your biological parents, they’ll be waiting for you in heaven.

  • 1
  • Insult

  • After seeing you sing, the dog got disinfected from rabies.

    You call me a prostitute's son, I call you test-tube babies.

  • 1
  • Christmas

  • I helped my son (who is missing his arms) unwrap his Christmas present. The ungrateful bastard just sits there and cries, and it's a pair of mittens. The ungrateful bastard is just sitting there, crying.

  • 3
  • Astronomy

  • You see, my son is very into astronomy.

    Son: How do stars die?

    Dad: Usually overdose, son.

    I'm such an asshole to my son, my wife divorced me.

  • 2
  • Prank

  • 2019 Senior Prank: Hey fellas, let's black out the school. Haha, we're so sneaky, oh yes!

    2020 Senior Prank: Hey guys, I'm a tech whiz, let's spread a rumor on the internet saying a disease called the corona virus exists! Haha, it'd be so funny and good, even the whole world might fall for it!

    Everyone in December 2020 looks at tech whiz: "...you son of a b*tch!!!"

    Tech whiz: "You guys are the a**holes! I mean you fell for it for a whole year!"

  • 2
  • Marriage

  • Dad: Son, who do you want to marry when you grow up?

    Son: A ugly girl.

    Dad: Why not a pretty girl?

    Son: A pretty one might run away.

    Dad: So an ugly one might too.

    Son: Yeah, but who cares?

  • 2
  • Sex

  • A son walks up to his dad and says, "Dad! I just had sex for the first time."

    The dad goes, "Great! Wanna sit down and talk about it?"

    The son says, "I can't sit right now, my butt is very sore."

  • 24
  • Name

  • Imagine if you were an Arabic person shopping at Walmart with your son.

    Now imagine he got lost and you had to start calling out his name.

    ...Now imagine his name is "Allahu Akbar."

  • 0
  • Mum

  • Rhydon- son.

    Rhydon? - mum.

    RHYDON DEEZ NUTS! - son.

    Jeez, ur like ur father in bed- mum.

    XD

    Mom

  • Son: Mom, is it possible to make a strawberry cake for me?

    Mom: No, that's impossible.

    Son: But it is possible for your secret boyfriend, right?

    Mom: No, no, please don't tell your dad. I will make a strawberry cake for you.

    Son: Daddy has already tasted your sweet strawberry cake, so because of that, I felt jealous ^_^

  • 0
  • Balance

  • A guy starts texting a cute girl and asks her to give him her phone number so he can call her. The girl says, "OK, but you have to transfer mobile balance to my number. Then I am gonna be your girlfriend and will meet you somewhere." He transfers her the balance and calls her, but it turns out the girl was actually a guy making him a fool. He blocked him.

    The next day, he was very angry about himself being a fool, so he thought he'd do the same. He makes a fake girl account and starts texting with some random guy, and then he asks that guy to send him balance. Suddenly, his father came into his bedroom and asked, "Son, can you send me some balance? I am gonna send you cash after sometime." That guy looks at his father with suspicious eyes, and then he calls that random number. Suddenly his father's phone starts ringing......

  • 0