I saw a petition on replacing gravestones with trees so it will be a beautiful forest Son: wheres grandma?
wo tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, “Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?” The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, “Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?” The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, “It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch, It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into.”
A cat gets its tail run over, and it’s mother assured him it’ll be okay. “You just have to stay PAW-sitive!”
The mother was later killed in her sleep because her son hates puns. At the funeral, one of her daughters said, “You have CAT to be KITTEN me right MEOW!”
Guess who dies next.
Why do planets circle the son?
Cuz they like the game of ring- around the- rosy.
Bought my son a trampoline for his birthday, the ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair and cried
Dad: Hey have you seen that new movie constipation? Son: No Dad: It hasn't come out yet
my dad- you better ware flip-flopped everywhere suicidal son-goes to crack ally
My son
Father : "That's great son. Who is she?"
Son: "It's Tina, the neighbor's daughter".
Father : "Ohhh I wish you hadn't said that.I have to tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother.Tina is actually your sister."
The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later
Son : "Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!"
Father : "That's great son. Who is she?"
Son: "It's Peny, the other neighbor's daughter."
Father : "Ohhhh I wish you hadn't said that. Peny is also your sister."
This went on couple of times and the son was so mad,he went straight to his mother crying.
Son : "Mum I am so mad at dad ! I fell in love with six girls but I can't date any of them because daddy is their father!"
The mother hugs him affectionately and says:
"My love, you can date whoever you want. Don't listen to him. He is not your Father."!!!
Why are Alabamians so resentful of immigrants?
They don't want their sons and daughters to have sex with anyone other than their siblings or relatives.
I seriously don't get why people in Alabama are angered that Mexican immigrants are taking their jobs. I mean, it's not like they are preventing your son from giving you a big fat blow job.
Or is she asking her son, “Do you know Newton?” The boy said, “No, I don’t know.” She said to him, “If you had paid attention to your lessons, you would have known him!!” The boy said, “Ok, do you know Ikhlod?” She said to him, “No, who is she?” He said to her, “If you had paid attention to your husband, you would have known her.” The important thing is that the boy is currently a week with his uncles and a week with his turbans.
What did the Olympic Swimmer call his son?
Paul
Imagine if you were an Arabic person shopping at Walmart with your son. Now imagine he got lost and you had to start calling out his name.
...Now imagine his name is Allahu Akbar
Son - Dad I've been expelled from school for having sex with a girl in my class Dad - Son that's the 2nd school this year! Maybe teaching isn't for you!
I have a son. Her name is Zara. I also have a dad. Her name is Lydia.
My son said that bully needs a pounding then i say Yeah right that is what i said and did to your mother.My son opens his mouth and freezes i guess he knew what i was talking about.
Q:How do you get a squirrle to like yopu A:Act like a nut 😂
Q:Why dont eggs tell jokes? A:Because they ́d crack each other up
Son:Dad can you put my shoes on?Dad:No son i dont think they would fit me Im on a sea food diet when i see food i eat it
I used to hate facial hair but then it grew on me
A Man: I must confess father Priest: what are you her to confess A Man: I hit my wife and blamed her for what happened to our son Priest: and what happened to your son A Man: He said a man raped him Priest: when and where did this happened A Man: a local church, idk which one Priest...by whom? A Man: A priest he said, he said the priest had black hair and blue eyes. kind of like you Priest: ...shit
A father of five puts on gas mask and a hazard suit, and walks outside, but before he could make it, his son came and asked "Dad, what are you wearing?". The father would answer with "A costume for Halloween.". the child asked "can i join?". He said no, for he said it's their last Halloween. *after that, I saw green smoke all over the same house they lived in.
