my sister is pregnant i’m a be a dad
yeah u can call me daddy son
son: can i go to my friends mum? mum: no! son: dad was right i am a son of a bitch! mum: bad news but your adopted!!
Son: Daddy, what's dark humor? Dad: See that man over there with no arms or legs? Go tell him to stand up and clap. Son: But Daddy, I'm blind. Dad: Exactly.
Son: Why don't cannibals eat clowns? Dad: Don't know, why? Son: Because they taste funny.
A asian gets a choice between his rice cooker or his son he instantly picks the cooker and says "HE GOT A B+ IN MATHS LAST WEEK HES A FAILURE"
Dad: ok son if you fail this test your no longer my child ok Son: ok dad AFTER TEST Dad: hay son how'd the test go? Son: son?
mom tells her son to go to the other kid to walk to the kid just standing still to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car(but her son was blind the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap and the kid died because he couldn't hear he was deaf)
My son caught me masturbating he asked me "what are you doing?" and I said "don't worry son you'll be doing it soon" he asks "why is that?" and I said "my arm's getting tired".
What's the last thing Asians hear from their parents? My money is my money. Your money is my money. Your wife's money is my money. Always remember that son.
A wife was cleaning 12-year-old son’s bedroom When she found a load of serious bondage gear and fetish mags, she asked her husband, “what do we do?” The husband said, “I’m no expert, but I wouldn’t fucking spank him.”
A mother and son were in the backyard and the son finished building a shed. The mother says "You're the best husband ever"
what do they call Dwayne "the rocks" Johnson's son? The Pebble
Mom, how were hoomans made? Son, it’s because Adam and Eve were brought down by god and made babies!
Dad, how were hoomans made. Son, us humans evolved from monkeys!
Mom, dad said hoomans were evolved from monkeys, is that true? Oh son, (ruffles smol man’s hair) your dad was telling you his side of the family, and I was telling my side :)
What's the similarity between my son and a rug from ebay-? I asked for a refund.
When my son was little, he loved to draw. Although he would always rip up the paper whenever there was one little slip up. Too bad he became a tattoo artist.....
Knock knock
Who’s there
YOUR DEAD SON
My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.
Dad: Son, everyone in your class got COVID. Son (in a happy tone): I know. Dad: How do you know and why are you so glad? Son: Well yesterday you told me to spread positivity.
As a son I set up a home date with my mom and my friend because I was going out of town. I set it up by telling my friend that my mom thinks he is cute and I told my mom that my friend thinks that she is hot. I came home the next day I see in the living room my friend giving it to my mom doggy style. I ask whats going on my mom said to me. Meet your new daddy, then my friend said to hey son get me a beer from the fridge.
What do you call a son of gilgamesh that hates flashy lights? The epileptic of gilgamesh.
