Someone's

Someone's jokes

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Stripper

  • How do men like their women? Striped.

    How does a priest like their children? Clean.

    Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.

    What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.

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  • Mountain

  • Why did Shawn suddenly fly to Mount Everest, leaving behind friends, family, and food?

    Someone told him that "Shelby"'s coming 'round the mountain.

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    Conductor

  • A conductor was conducting a song. At the end, he threw his conductor's stick and killed someone. He was put to the electric chair, but nothing happened. They asked why he didn't die, and he replied, "I'm a bad conductor."

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    Ass

  • *At A Funeral For Someone Who Jumped Off A Building* Victim's Mom: "I wonder what was the last thing that went through his head..."

    Me: "Honestly... Probably his ass."

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  • Orphan

  • Someone went up to an orphan and asked him why he was talking to the air. He said he was talking to his mom.

    Rape

  • If raping someone is sexual harassment, then is raping a rapist inverted harassment?

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    Violence

  • A man was hitting a woman with his d*ck. Someone ran up to the man and said, "That's domestic violence!" The man replied with, "No, it's not domestic violence, it's dumbass-d*ck violence!"

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  • Life

  • All my life I wanted to be somebody. I wanted to achieve something.

    Now, after messing up my life at every possible chance, I finally realize that what I really want is to have been someone after following through with one thing.

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    Orphan

  • Orphan jokes protest. Anonymous.

    Orphan jokes are just funny so stop trying to ruin our fun!

    Comments:

    Gwen: Stop! It is not funny. Orphans are just out their cold, weak, and need someone! And the jokes are not funny!

    Shut up: Shut up!

    Liv: Gwen stop!!

    Gwen: SHUT UP BITCH!!!!!!!!!

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    Penis

  • 3 people having sex is a threesome, 2 is a twosome. So next time someone calls you 'HANDSOME', don't take it as a compliment!

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  • Job Interview

  • I went for a job interview today, and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."

    "Well, I'm your man," I replied. "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible!"

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