How is tightrope walking like getting a blowjob from someone ugly?
If you want to enjoy either, you absolutely can’t look down.
Someone Jokes
I just read that someone in New York gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor guy!
What do you call someone without a body and a nose? Nobody knows.
Note to all moms of teens, keep a dog. That way, someone is excited to see you!
Your hairline is like a lollipop because every time someone licks it, it gets shorter.
Anne Frank: This one time at camp, someone had too much gas.
Solicitors are more likely to harass someone with a “no soliciting” sign on their front porch.
Someone asked me if I was a good sleeper. I told them I'm so good that I can do it with my eyes closed.
Someone is adding dirt to my garden!
The plot thickens!
What is sex? You put a sex person in someone’s sex.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Someone pulled his ethernet cable (he died of a blue screen)!
Is it bad to hit an orphan?
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Well... I mean, they could go to church and try to gather that someone hit them.
The other day someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how to feel about that.
Every time someone calls you a little different, car? Just say, "No, I'm not."
What do you get when someone named Victoria falls? A Victoria Falls!
You text someone to ask them why they snobbed you. Then they snob you again.
If someone made a comedy routine about Terri Schiavo, would that be considered roasting a vegetable?
Someone I know is an ant. I feel like a mountain to them.
My wife is so fat. I finally got up the energy to walk around to the other side. I found someone else!
Why was the cookie angry? Because someone ate the chips!
