Someone jokes

Life isn't about pleasing yourself and that you have to do things for the sole benefit of God.

It’s like masturbation. Sometimes it’s not getting yourself off, but getting someone else off too. That’s what thighjobs are for.

If you execute someone in ventricular fibrillation in the electric chair, will they come back to life once and then die?

Why did the chicken cross the road why? Because they wanted to kick someone in the family.

One day at school, little Johnny was not listening, so the teacher came up to him.

Teacher: "At the end of this ruler is someone dumb."

Little Johnny: "Miss, which end were you referring to?"

Why do orphans want a sugar daddy?

They actually can call someone "daddy!"

The other day someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how to feel about that.

Why was the people's wedding so miserable...

'Cause during the kiss someone farted so loud and stinky, they agreed to never try to have another wedding.

Like, if you hate wearing a mask.

Every time I'm out in public, and I see someone without their mask, I always feel like there is something extra special about them. Then I realize that I can see all their face!

True story by the way.

The Britains walk in the house of the alcoholic grandad. They ask Mary, the mum, why she had blood all over her, and she said someone dropped the butter. They walked into the living room, and Thomas was dead on the floor.

There is someone in my class named Henry Rocket Rueben, and he always says he rockets into my mom.

Is it bad to hit an orphan?

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

Well... I mean, they could go to church and try to gather that someone hit them.

I prank called someone and I said, "Is there a Missis Wall there?" They said no. Is there a Mr. Wall there? They said no. Are there any Walls there? They said no. Then what's holding up your building?

I went to the table to eat my egg, but I couldn't find it anywhere.

I think someone must've poached it.

Why do orphans go to church so they can call someone "father?"

Someone cutting the cheese then farted.

Someone sees the cheese, and it smelled like crap (literally). He said, "Who cut the cheese?"

What is sex? You put a sex person in someone’s sex.

How did Stephen Hawking die?

Someone pulled his ethernet cable (he died of a blue screen)!

What do you get when someone named Victoria falls? A Victoria Falls!

Every time someone calls you a little different, car? Just say, "No, I'm not."

Note to all moms of teens, keep a dog. That way, someone is excited to see you!