Someone jokes
If I had a dime for every time I heard someone say that F was the villain (Alphabet Lore), I would be rich.
Why do orphans go to church?
They have someone to call "father" there.
Why did the orphan cheat on his girlfriend with a guy?
Because he wanted someone to call "Mommy" and "Daddy."
Ask someone if they are a rhino. If they say yes, tell them "so you're horny." And if they reply yes again, block them from your life entirely.
What do you call it when you're trying to find out what someone had for lunch?
An ingestigation.
Someone asked me if I was a good sleeper. I told them I'm so good that I can do it with my eyes closed.
I prank called someone and I said, "Is there a Missis Wall there?" They said no. Is there a Mr. Wall there? They said no. Are there any Walls there? They said no. Then what's holding up your building?
Every time someone calls you a little different, car? Just say, "No, I'm not."
Solicitors are more likely to harass someone with a “no soliciting” sign on their front porch.
Why can't an orphan be in a Scream movie?
It's always someone you know.
Why can’t anyone sing “hit me with your best shot” at the veterans ball karaoke?
Because every time she sang the line “fire away,” someone started shooting!
Life isn't about pleasing yourself and that you have to do things for the sole benefit of God.
It’s like masturbation. Sometimes it’s not getting yourself off, but getting someone else off too. That’s what thighjobs are for.
Why do orphans want a sugar daddy?
They actually can call someone "daddy!"
Say this when showing this website to someone: "You know, it's too bad this website doesn't have a homepage."
One day at school, little Johnny was not listening, so the teacher came up to him.
Teacher: "At the end of this ruler is someone dumb."
Little Johnny: "Miss, which end were you referring to?"
If you execute someone in ventricular fibrillation in the electric chair, will they come back to life once and then die?
Why did the chicken cross the road why? Because they wanted to kick someone in the family.
Why do orphans like to have sex?
So they can finally have someone to call "daddy."
When someone calls you, say "Welcome to Joe's Pizza Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce."
Like, if you hate wearing a mask.
Every time I'm out in public, and I see someone without their mask, I always feel like there is something extra special about them. Then I realize that I can see all their face!
True story by the way.