Someone jokes

Say _______ is so flat that when someone hit them, they got a paper cut!

When someone calls you, say "Welcome to Joe's Pizza Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce."

Why do orphans want a sugar daddy?

They actually can call someone "daddy!"

Why was the people's wedding so miserable...

'Cause during the kiss someone farted so loud and stinky, they agreed to never try to have another wedding.

What is sex? You put a sex person in someone’s sex.

How did Stephen Hawking die?

Someone pulled his ethernet cable (he died of a blue screen)!

Is it bad to hit an orphan?

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

Well... I mean, they could go to church and try to gather that someone hit them.

I went to the table to eat my egg, but I couldn't find it anywhere.

I think someone must've poached it.

Why do orphans go to church so they can call someone "father?"

What do you call it when you're trying to find out what someone had for lunch?

An ingestigation.

You text someone to ask them why they snobbed you. Then they snob you again.

Your hairline is like a lollipop because every time someone licks it, it gets shorter.

What do you call someone who is half a Jew?

Jew-ish.

Note to all moms of teens, keep a dog. That way, someone is excited to see you!

Hey, I’m George, and this is how to figure out if someone is a psychopath.

Go into someone’s search history, and find “Cuphead ship fanfic”.

Hey George, why do you have Russia x America countryhumans?

What do you call someone without a body and a nose? Nobody knows.

Anne Frank: This one time at camp, someone had too much gas.

I just read that someone in New York gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor guy!

What's the difference between someone with dystonia and someone with misophonia?

One makes the annoying noises, while the other hates the annoying noises.

How is tightrope walking like getting a blowjob from someone ugly?

If you want to enjoy either, you absolutely can’t look down.