Someone jokes

Why do orphans go to church so they can call someone "father?"

I went to the table to eat my egg, but I couldn't find it anywhere.

I think someone must've poached it.

I prank called someone and I said, "Is there a Missis Wall there?" They said no. Is there a Mr. Wall there? They said no. Are there any Walls there? They said no. Then what's holding up your building?

What's the difference between someone with dystonia and someone with misophonia?

One makes the annoying noises, while the other hates the annoying noises.

How is tightrope walking like getting a blowjob from someone ugly?

If you want to enjoy either, you absolutely can’t look down.

I just read that someone in New York gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor guy!

What do you call someone without a body and a nose? Nobody knows.

Note to all moms of teens, keep a dog. That way, someone is excited to see you!

Your hairline is like a lollipop because every time someone licks it, it gets shorter.

Anne Frank: This one time at camp, someone had too much gas.

Solicitors are more likely to harass someone with a “no soliciting” sign on their front porch.

Someone asked me if I was a good sleeper. I told them I'm so good that I can do it with my eyes closed.

Someone is adding dirt to my garden!

The plot thickens!

What is sex? You put a sex person in someone’s sex.

How did Stephen Hawking die?

Someone pulled his ethernet cable (he died of a blue screen)!

Is it bad to hit an orphan?

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

Well... I mean, they could go to church and try to gather that someone hit them.

The other day someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how to feel about that.

Every time someone calls you a little different, car? Just say, "No, I'm not."

What do you get when someone named Victoria falls? A Victoria Falls!

You text someone to ask them why they snobbed you. Then they snob you again.