A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone. It’s either really terrible news or really great news.
Someone told me that you can let out all your anger by writing letters about everyone you hate and then burning them...
But I was just wondering... should I keep the letters?
I went for a job interview today and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."
"Well, I'm your man." I replied, "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."
When someone calls you, say this: "Hi, welcome to Dave’s Orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?"
When I die can someone play "Best Day Ever" during my funeral?
Like if you know someone is emo
If you say to someone "have a nice day!" It will make them happy. If you say, "Enjoy the next 24 hours" They'll be terrified.
Why do orphans like getting kidnapped? Because someone actually wants them. 🤣
Someone asked me, 'What are them scars on your arm ? ..' I thought I was playing a violin '
Someone asked me why I'm Still here...the answer is simple I don't want to be used as a school assembly
like if you know someone that is emo
Like this post to have give someone you hate bad luck
Someone glued my deck of cards together. I don't know how to deal with it.
As a 13 year old, online dating is a tough thing.
Every time I meet someone new, they end up in jail.
My husband told me to make him a sandwich. I was looking online for some comebacks. Someone online said You better comeback with a goddamn sandwich
Why did the male orphan decide to be gay
Because he wanted someone to call daddy
Richard: Mom, someone called me gay. Richard's mom: Why didn't you slap him across him face. Richard: No, I couldn't. Richard's mom: Why. Richard: Because he was cute.
Getting murdered by someone is probably the most intimate experience I'll ever have.
It’s all fun and games until someone fails at becoming superman.
If there was someone selling drugs around here, weed know
