Someone jokes

Yo momma so stupid that someone said, "You're not that wealthy," and she went to a doctor.

So I was looking through my pictures and I found a picture of a random kid that took a picture of his ugly face. It looked like someone that got hit by a car, then a bus, then a semi.

That’s what I get for not having a password on my iPad.

What do you call someone who kisses primary school kids?

Joshua Metcalfe

What does Bill Cosby and someone eating at McDonald's have in common?

They're both mc lovin' what they're eating.

When someone falls, you say to them, "I remember when I started to learn to walk."

A blind woman told her husband someone is coming. He asks how do you know, you can't see. She replies, "I can taste it."

What did Michael Scott say to someone when he passed a plate of vegetables?

Boom! Roasted!

What do you call someone in a wheelchair with a gun? A rxd.

I remember locking my door, but then I went downstairs to hear someone say, "I'm inside your home." I said, "GTFO my house, BICH!"

I was trying to tell some people here to stop, but then I found out that the S was covered in blood from me assaulting someone.

What is a fruit's favorite way to call someone?

WhatsApple.

If every time someone faints when they see your face and I get 1 cent, I would be a trillionaire.

One time Little Johnny saw someone in his yard tying a rope to a tree, and he moved the stool and the tree broke. Little Johnny screamed, "HAHA! You're skinny enough to break the tree!"

I read the Brothers Grimm books, then I see a black figure reaping about.

I realized someone has died, but I don't do anything about it. I continue to read, and that's when I realized that I was one of the characters, in which at the end, dies.

One day, someone's ex was going to the kitchen to get something to eat, and her ex-boyfriend was there and gave her an apple. Next minute, she had chlamydia. What did the boyfriend do?

Why did the orphan finally go to church? So they could call someone "father."

There has to be someone that hates watersharky. He curses at you if you say one thing about his friends or him. He just is mean and needs to leave.

Someone asks a question: Who? Who asked? Boom, you"re done xxx.

Hello, I'm Ariana. I'm looking for someone. Anyone wanna date me?

Ariana

You know somebody has a fat ass when someone is standing between you and them, and all you can focus on is that trunk.