Someone jokes

Ask someone if they are a rhino. If they say yes, tell them "so you're horny." And if they reply yes again, block them from your life entirely.

Why can't an orphan be in a Scream movie?

It's always someone you know.

When someone calls you, say "Welcome to Joe's Pizza Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce."

Say this when showing this website to someone: "You know, it's too bad this website doesn't have a homepage."

Why do orphans go to church?

They have someone to call "father" there.

What do Hitler's gas "shower" and guns have in common? They both kill someone.

If I had a dime for every time I heard someone say that F was the villain (Alphabet Lore), I would be rich.

A kid came to the orphanage with a dead fish. She was crying.

Why was the kid crying in the orphanage? Because someone came for the fish.

What did the man say about someone who had a seizure?

"Jit was lagging."

Whenever someone calls me ugly, I get super sad and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

Yo momma so stupid, when someone got cardiac arrest, she tried to put the person to court, and when the judge said "ORDER AT THE COURT," she thought it's a food court and ordered 20 Big Macs and got a heart attack.

I hope next time you ask your teacher to go to the toilet, your teacher says no, but when someone else asks, the teacher says yes to them.

As we speak now, someone is making arrangements for December with your girlfriend.

If you execute someone in ventricular fibrillation in the electric chair, will they come back to life once and then die?

Life isn't about pleasing yourself and that you have to do things for the sole benefit of God.

It’s like masturbation. Sometimes it’s not getting yourself off, but getting someone else off too. That’s what thighjobs are for.

Why can’t anyone sing “hit me with your best shot” at the veterans ball karaoke?

Because every time she sang the line “fire away,” someone started shooting!

Why do orphans like to have sex?

So they can finally have someone to call "daddy."

Why did the chicken cross the road why? Because they wanted to kick someone in the family.

Why do orphans want a sugar daddy?

They actually can call someone "daddy!"

One day at school, little Johnny was not listening, so the teacher came up to him.

Teacher: "At the end of this ruler is someone dumb."

Little Johnny: "Miss, which end were you referring to?"