Someone jokes
What do you tell someone who has depression?
Answer: Just hang in there.
What do you call someone who is half a Jew?
Jew-ish.
How is tightrope walking like getting a blowjob from someone ugly?
If you want to enjoy either, you absolutely can’t look down.
What's the difference between someone with dystonia and someone with misophonia?
One makes the annoying noises, while the other hates the annoying noises.
I prank called someone and I said, "Is there a Missis Wall there?" They said no. Is there a Mr. Wall there? They said no. Are there any Walls there? They said no. Then what's holding up your building?
Why do orphans go to church so they can call someone "father?"
Someone is adding dirt to my garden!
The plot thickens!
Solicitors are more likely to harass someone with a “no soliciting” sign on their front porch.
Someone asked me if I was a good sleeper. I told them I'm so good that I can do it with my eyes closed.
Is it bad to hit an orphan?
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Well... I mean, they could go to church and try to gather that someone hit them.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Someone pulled his ethernet cable (he died of a blue screen)!
Every time someone calls you a little different, car? Just say, "No, I'm not."
What do you get when someone named Victoria falls? A Victoria Falls!
The other day someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how to feel about that.
What do you call it when you're trying to find out what someone had for lunch?
An ingestigation.
You text someone to ask them why they snobbed you. Then they snob you again.
Your hairline is like a lollipop because every time someone licks it, it gets shorter.
Note to all moms of teens, keep a dog. That way, someone is excited to see you!
I just read that someone in New York gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor guy!
What do you call someone without a body and a nose? Nobody knows.