Someone jokes

How is tightrope walking like getting a blowjob from someone ugly?

If you want to enjoy either, you absolutely can’t look down.

"One man's trash is another man's treasure" is a great thing to say to someone; horrible way to find out you're adopted.

Anne Frank: This one time at camp, someone had too much gas.

Hey, I’m George, and this is how to figure out if someone is a psychopath.

Go into someone’s search history, and find “Cuphead ship fanfic”.

Hey George, why do you have Russia x America countryhumans?

What do you call someone without a body and a nose? Nobody knows.

Your hairline is like a lollipop because every time someone licks it, it gets shorter.

You text someone to ask them why they snobbed you. Then they snob you again.

I just read that someone in New York gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor guy!

What do you call someone who is half a Jew?

Jew-ish.

What's the difference between someone with dystonia and someone with misophonia?

One makes the annoying noises, while the other hates the annoying noises.

NORTH INDIANS: Decent, but overrated af. They are the only thing that comes to many ppl's minds when someone says "Indian".

SOUTH INDIANS: Decent, but underrated af. Many ppl don't even know they exist. They are literally asked if they are North Indians.

WEST AND EAST: Decent but underrated af.

My wife is so fat. I finally got up the energy to walk around to the other side. I found someone else!

What do you call someone with a big butt?

The Thightanic!

So there is someone who doesn't know what an armadillo is.

He then sees one. He asks it a question, "What are you?"

The armadillo replies, "Armadillo."

The person says: "What's a dilo?"

What do you call someone who has sex with foals, calves, and lambs? A Quadrupedophile.

What do you call someone who is in an airplane crash who was a 2006 Stanley Cup champion with the Carolina Hurricanes?

Josef Vasicek.

What do you call someone who’s blond, beautiful, and listens to what you’re saying, but only hears what they want?

Womxn

Why does the orphan go to church? He needs someone to call father.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

911.

911 who?

You said you would never forget.

Someone: "I got chickens out there vibin'."

Me: "What? Oh, you mean those over-sized chickens that just show an example of you in real life?"

Someone: . . .