Someone jokes
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Someone pulled his ethernet cable (he died of a blue screen)!
What do you get when someone named Victoria falls? A Victoria Falls!
Every time someone calls you a little different, car? Just say, "No, I'm not."
Note to all moms of teens, keep a dog. That way, someone is excited to see you!
What's the difference between someone with dystonia and someone with misophonia?
One makes the annoying noises, while the other hates the annoying noises.
Memes
Hey, I’m George, and this is how to figure out if someone is a psychopath.
Go into someone’s search history, and find “Cuphead ship fanfic”.
Hey George, why do you have Russia x America countryhumans?
NORTH INDIANS: Decent, but overrated af. They are the only thing that comes to many ppl's minds when someone says "Indian".
SOUTH INDIANS: Decent, but underrated af. Many ppl don't even know they exist. They are literally asked if they are North Indians.
WEST AND EAST: Decent but underrated af.
Do you ever look at someone and think, "You must have been conceived at a family reunion"?
When someone asks you why you went bald, say it wasn't a choice. It just happened.
I was going to join the debating team.
... but someone talked me out of it.
Someone booted Stephen Hawking offline. Maybe next time he will stand for the pledge/anthem.
Where do you take someone who’s been injured in a peek-a-boo accident?
To the I.C.U.
You are playing as Ukraine in Military Tycoon, and then someone kills you. You see who killed you in nuke revenge, and it says "Putinmoserfucer2342."
You used to be someone’s sunshine, but sorry, the climate changed. 😂😂😂😂
My mom: Your life could be worse. You could be Tracy Latimer.
Me: I wish I were Tracy Latimer, then someone would kill me.
My middle name is Brian. I was so proud of being able to spell my full name till someone pointed out "Johnny Brain Walker" was incorrect.
What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?
Someone who COUNTS BARS all day!
Someone I know is an ant. I feel like a mountain to them.
My wife is so fat. I finally got up the energy to walk around to the other side. I found someone else!
What do you call someone who’s afraid of breaststroke? Chicken breast.