Someone jokes
Why can’t anyone sing “hit me with your best shot” at the veterans ball karaoke?
Because every time she sang the line “fire away,” someone started shooting!
Life isn't about pleasing yourself and that you have to do things for the sole benefit of God.
It’s like masturbation. Sometimes it’s not getting yourself off, but getting someone else off too. That’s what thighjobs are for.
Why do orphans like to have sex?
So they can finally have someone to call "daddy."
Why do orphans want a sugar daddy?
They actually can call someone "daddy!"
Someone cutting the cheese then farted.
Someone sees the cheese, and it smelled like crap (literally). He said, "Who cut the cheese?"
Say _______ is so flat that when someone hit them, they got a paper cut!
When someone calls you, say "Welcome to Joe's Pizza Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce."
Like, if you hate wearing a mask.
Every time I'm out in public, and I see someone without their mask, I always feel like there is something extra special about them. Then I realize that I can see all their face!
True story by the way.
There is someone in my class named Henry Rocket Rueben, and he always says he rockets into my mom.
Why was the people's wedding so miserable...
'Cause during the kiss someone farted so loud and stinky, they agreed to never try to have another wedding.
What is sex? You put a sex person in someone’s sex.
NORTH INDIANS: Decent, but overrated af. They are the only thing that comes to many ppl's minds when someone says "Indian".
SOUTH INDIANS: Decent, but underrated af. Many ppl don't even know they exist. They are literally asked if they are North Indians.
WEST AND EAST: Decent but underrated af.
I think someone left trash at the doorstep. Oh, wait, it's your parents dropping you off at the kid's store.
Two blonde girls find a beautiful Christmas tree in the woods.
After two hours, someone said, "We found a tree without bark!"
Someone lunged at me, armed with an unregistered nurse. I hit the floor.
If someone says 67 one more time, I'll say 9/11 and swoop right under their feet like the Twin Towers.
When someone asks you why you went bald, say it wasn't a choice. It just happened.
Someone prank calls a general. The general hangs up and goes, "Kids these days have no respect for their elders. That's why I send them all to die."
can someone please tell what happened?
What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?
Someone who COUNTS BARS all day!