Someone: Didn’t we already meet somewhere?
Me: Yeah. That’s why I don’t go there anymore.
What did Hermione say when she pantsed someone?
"Wow, Harry!"
Someone booted Stephen Hawking offline. Maybe next time he will stand for the pledge/anthem.
Some babies may be delivered via stork, but some bigger babies are gonna need a crane.
As the car crashed, someone said, "I see a light!"
Hi, people. I really need a friend. Can someone please be my friend? Say in comments if you will.
If I had a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I’d still only have five cents.
Orphan: Help, I'm lost.
Someone: Wears your parents.
Orphan: >:(
I made an advent calendar for a Jehovah’s Witness.
Behind every door someone tells you to fuck off.
What would an emo say to someone to make them join the EMO side?
A: Go kill yourself!
"I miss you.
Being happy was never that hard without you..."
Someone's dad: You think he/she wants to join me? I didn't get the milk...
What do you call someone with notorious special needs and an extra chromosome?
The double trouble.
Why was the cookie angry? Because someone ate the chips!
Someone I know is an ant. I feel like a mountain to them.
What do you call someone who’s blond, beautiful, and listens to what you’re saying, but only hears what they want?
Womxn
So there is someone who doesn't know what an armadillo is.
He then sees one. He asks it a question, "What are you?"
The armadillo replies, "Armadillo."
The person says: "What's a dilo?"
What do you call someone who has sex with foals, calves, and lambs? A Quadrupedophile.
Someone: "I got chickens out there vibin'."
Me: "What? Oh, you mean those over-sized chickens that just show an example of you in real life?"
Someone: . . .
Kindly yeet someone!
What do you call someone who’s afraid of breaststroke? Chicken breast.
