Someone jokes
Why was the people's wedding so miserable...
'Cause during the kiss someone farted so loud and stinky, they agreed to never try to have another wedding.
I went to the table to eat my egg, but I couldn't find it anywhere.
I think someone must've poached it.
I prank called someone and I said, "Is there a Missis Wall there?" They said no. Is there a Mr. Wall there? They said no. Are there any Walls there? They said no. Then what's holding up your building?
Someone cutting the cheese then farted.
Someone sees the cheese, and it smelled like crap (literally). He said, "Who cut the cheese?"
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Someone pulled his ethernet cable (he died of a blue screen)!
Why do orphans go to church so they can call someone "father?"
Is it bad to hit an orphan?
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Well... I mean, they could go to church and try to gather that someone hit them.
Someone is adding dirt to my garden!
The plot thickens!
Someone asked me if I was a good sleeper. I told them I'm so good that I can do it with my eyes closed.
Solicitors are more likely to harass someone with a “no soliciting” sign on their front porch.
NORTH INDIANS: Decent, but overrated af. They are the only thing that comes to many ppl's minds when someone says "Indian".
SOUTH INDIANS: Decent, but underrated af. Many ppl don't even know they exist. They are literally asked if they are North Indians.
WEST AND EAST: Decent but underrated af.
What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?
Someone who COUNTS BARS all day!
can someone please tell what happened?
Someone prank calls a general. The general hangs up and goes, "Kids these days have no respect for their elders. That's why I send them all to die."
If someone says 67 one more time, I'll say 9/11 and swoop right under their feet like the Twin Towers.
Do you ever look at someone and think, "You must have been conceived at a family reunion"?
When someone asks you why you went bald, say it wasn't a choice. It just happened.
My mom: Your life could be worse. You could be Tracy Latimer.
Me: I wish I were Tracy Latimer, then someone would kill me.
What do you say when you hear someone tripping over at night?
Goddammit, Jamal!
Where do you take someone who’s been injured in a peek-a-boo accident?
To the I.C.U.