Someone jokes

Vegetable

If someone made a comedy routine about Terri Schiavo, would that be considered roasting a vegetable?

Wife

My wife is so fat. I finally got up the energy to walk around to the other side. I found someone else!

Memes

Armadillo

So there is someone who doesn't know what an armadillo is.

He then sees one. He asks it a question, "What are you?"

The armadillo replies, "Armadillo."

The person says: "What's a dilo?"

Sex

What do you call someone who has sex with foals, calves, and lambs? A Quadrupedophile.

Blonde

What do you call someone who’s blond, beautiful, and listens to what you’re saying, but only hears what they want?

Womxn

Teacher

Teacher: "If you're dumb, stand up."

Nobody stands up.

After some waiting, the teacher says, "Really? No one? There must be someone."

Little Johnny stands up.

"Oh, so you think you're dumb, Johnny?"

"Nah, I just feel bad that you're standing alone."

Dad

"I miss you.

Being happy was never that hard without you..."

Someone's dad: You think he/she wants to join me? I didn't get the milk...

Chromosome

What do you call someone with notorious special needs and an extra chromosome?

The double trouble.

Emo

What would an emo say to someone to make them join the EMO side?

A: Go kill yourself!

Orphan

What do you call an orphan who likes football?

Because someone will actually give him something.

Idk

"Hey, what does IDK mean?"

"I don't know."

"Okay, then I am going to ask someone else."

911

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

911.

911 who?

You said you would never forget.