Society jokes
What's the difference between you and me? You're not strangling a man with a cloak on.
What does BLM stand for?
Black Lust Matters.
A handicapped person and an orphan get into a fight. The orphan says, "At least I have two functional legs." The handicapped person says, "At least I have two functional parents."
*Riddle:* All men have one, some got long, some got small. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. What is it?
What do Philippe Petit and New York citizens have in common?
They both walk(ed) over the Twin Towers.
Joke: Genders are much like the twin towers. They used to be two, but now it's a sensitive subject.
These girls were bullying a kid. I asked if they were raping him. They stopped.
Do you know why boys can't ask girls out? Because they don't have any balls to ask girls out!
Friend: Why did you touch me?
Me: That guy in the corner with no hair, glasses, really nice, white button up shirt, that drives a white van slow by school zones told me to and he would give me hard candy.
When you see an "Autistic child zone" sign and say, "Oh! That wasn't a dog."
The mailman came to drop the mail off.
Me (son): I went and told my mommy that daddy is home.
Mommy tells me, "You got no daddy."
Then I say, "I hear you always call the mailman daddy."
Why do orphans go to church?
To call someone "father."
We need to stop making jokes about orphans. They will tell their parents. Oh wait...
A man walks into a bar, and there is a line of people waiting to punch him.
Yeah, that was the punchline.
What's the similarities between dark humor and cancer?
It's funnier when kids get it.
How can you tell an Asian guy is awake?
You can never tell.
A young 38 year old happy Muslim migrant living in Sydney wants to wed a beautiful young bride. He asks the local Aussie the minimum age to wed his yet unchosen bride. "Eighteen," the Aussie says, sipping a beer. "She has to be Eighteen."
Okay, the Muslim man sighed, with disappointment and walks off. Next day he arrives with a 13 year old girl.
"Wtf are you doing?" Aussie says?
"You say this is okay," Muslim replied. "Fuck no, she must be at least Eighteen you sick bastard," says Aussie, flicking away his Winnie Blue cigarette. Muslim man leaves angrily.
Next day Happy Muslim settles on a 14 year old girl from Punchbowl to be his bride. Aussies jaw drops, "What is wrong with you mate?" asks Aussie.
Muslim man replies "You tell me to choose 'a teen', 'a teen', I chose a teen and now you come for my third and now fourth choice. Fuck you!"
Aussie: "Eighteen not 'a teen' you sick mongrel."
What did the Canadian say when a guy shot his beaver?
"It is ok, I forgive you."
How do you get a Japanese fanclub? Walk around with a bundle of gas masks!
Why was the orphan so successful?
When the options were either go big or go home, he only had one option :(