Society jokes
What does McDonald's and a paedophile have in common?
They both like sticking their meat in ten-year-olds.
What does an orphan have that a homeless person doesn’t?
A home, but what does a homeless person have that orphans don’t?
A parent.
I was sweating like Michael Jackson in a Chuck E. Cheese.
People are like sharks; only the great ones are white.
I will stop making fun of orphans when their parents come back.
Memes
Michael proved anything is possible in America. Where else can a poor black boy grow up to be a rich white woman?
What do a blonde and a doorknob have in common?
Everyone gets a turn ;)
"Bippidy boppidy boo! Bill Cosby is coming for you!"
I was gonna tell a rumor about butter, but I don’t want to spread it.
A man gets captured by cannibals.
Every day they poke him with spears and use his blood to wash down their food. Finally the guy calls the chief over and says, "You can kill me or you can eat me, but I'm tired of getting stuck for drinks."
When the school lets you near children again...
Why did the Royal Wedding get more publicity than the SantaFe school shooting?
'Cause Royal Weddings don't happen every week.
Why can’t you give an orphan homework?
Because they don’t have a home to do it in.
Florida: Homemade Taco Stand.
California: Homemade Lemonade Stand.
Alabama: Homemade Abortion Stand.
What do you call it when an Arab girl has an abortion?
Removing a bomb.
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!”
The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
When you go to Incestry.com instead of Ancestry.com.
What does Michael Jackson and a Playstation have in common?
They're both made of plastic and children turn them on.
A blind teenager who is bad at reading wants to go hunting, so he finds a hunting ground called s-ch-ool.
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress her up as an altar boy.