Society jokes

Florida: Homemade Taco Stand.

California: Homemade Lemonade Stand.

Alabama: Homemade Abortion Stand.

"Bippidy boppidy boo! Bill Cosby is coming for you!"

Why can’t you give an orphan homework?

Because they don’t have a home to do it in.

I was gonna tell a rumor about butter, but I don’t want to spread it.

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!”

The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

What does Michael Jackson and a Playstation have in common?

They're both made of plastic and children turn them on.

When you go to Incestry.com instead of Ancestry.com.

A blind teenager who is bad at reading wants to go hunting, so he finds a hunting ground called s-ch-ool.

How do you get a nun pregnant?

Dress her up as an altar boy.

A pedophile is at a school parent night. He's holding hands with an eight-year-old girl when he's approached by another parent. She says to him, "Oh, what a darling little girl you have there." The pedophile replies, "No," then points his finger to a child across the room and says, "That's my child."

Hey, guys! Just a quick reminder to spread kindness today and treat others how you want to be treated!

Rate your day on a scale of 1-10 in the comments below. Mine was about a 7. Also, can you guys please comment [on] what you guys want me to cover in these little messages? Sometimes it's hard to tell if you guys like that I'm doing this kind of stuff or not.

I remember when I was at a funeral at the age of 6. I was with my grandma and asked, "Grandma, Grandma, why is that man in a box?"

And she says, "He's in a better place now." I look at her confused and ask, "What kind of box did he live in before?! How is this box better than the last one?! It's just a box!"

And to this day I am still not allowed to go to funerals.

I know a girl in a wheelchair. I realize now why she couldn’t do sports because the coaches wanted 100% from her, but she was only able to give 50%.

A midget walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender says no.

The midget asks why. The bartender says, "You're a little drunk!"

What does McDonald's and a Catholic priest have in common?

They both put their meat in 10-year-old buns.

What kind of cars do Mexicans drive?

A Juanda.

What do you call a bus full of white people?

A TWINKiE!!!

If I saw a homosexual or transsexual man do so much as TOUCH my child, he would be dead, zombified, and castrated by the end of the day.

Protect your young'uns from these degenerate freaks and live off the grid so they have no bearing on your life.

Why are so many people mean to orphans?

They can’t cry to their parents.

Me: *makes Chuck Norris meme*

Internet: *all the other memes are dead now*

Me: Well, shit.