Phone rings; "Are your parents home?"
Orphan; "Stop calling here!"
Phone rings; "Are your parents home?"
Orphan; "Stop calling here!"
A guy walked into a bar.
A guy walked out of a bar.
I heard they're making a film about Jimmy Savile, it's a very touchy subject.
I heard the film about is so boring it puts you to sleep.
Why did I f*** my dad?
So I could have s€x without my mom finding out. Should I not have done that?
I made a bunch of jokes about unemployed people. Sadly, all of them don't work.
Why is the Navy gay?
There all seamen.
Me: Hi Jaiden.
Bully/Jaiden Harper: Leave me alone, weirdo.
Me: Wow, says the one who didn't pass 3rd grade.
Bully/Jaiden Harper: *hits*
Me: *calls FBI and puts on gloves and stabs random person then gives knife to Jaiden and takes off gloves* Bye bye.
FBI: FBI OPEN UP!!!!!!!!!
What is the best thing about gay people?
They're gay about being gay even though they're gonna get shot in the USA. Wait, that rhymes!
Borders are fat.
What is the difference between a human and a human being in a wheelchair?
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims – they went 89 stories in ten seconds.
So Timmy was walking down the street with his friend Lea. Suddenly a car drives by and Timmy waves at the car.
Lea looks at him, puzzled, then later asks him; "Why'd you wave at that car back there?"
Timmy replies "Oh that was my brother, he went to the bar. He must just be driving home..."
Make America hate again.
What do 9/11 and Covid-19 both have in common?
Asians caused them both!
Orphan jokes are just hurtful, and that is all they are, so please stop.
This is American politics that is not true.
What do you call a communist?
Braxton.
Do no doctor start with A and A+?
I ask my sister why the Chinese owner brings us free food all the time.
My sister said to me "I love him long time."
At night in the Nunnery, one Nun says to the other Nun, "Where's the candle?" The other Nun says, "Doesn't it!"