Two people about to have sex realize they have no lube.
In their desperate, horny haste, they looked for the nearest "Downy" and asked it, "Speak into my hand."
Upon their return to the bed, they regretted it immediately because his dick just stayed down...
Normal Europe: Oh no, I lost my iPhone!
Amish: Oh no, I lost my potato!
What’s the difference between Santa and an orphan? Nothing; they don’t have parents.
You can make fun of adopted kids all you want. What are they going to do, tell their parents on you? Lol.
Q: How do you make a fire?
A: Oil and dead babies.
What do you call an 18-year-old orphan?
Homeless.
What do you call an orphan running home?
He couldn't find home.
How to get rich:
Step 1: Tell an orphan he will get a family.
Step 2: Knock out the orphan.
Step 3: Cut open the orphan.
Step 4: Well there [are] organs.
Step 5: Do it again.
And nobody will call the cops 'cause they got no family.
What was a pedophile's hardest thing? Fitting in!
What's the worst living thing on planet earth?
Humans.
Why couldn't the orphan go into the restaurant?
It was family friendly.
Gay orphans don't exist cuz they have no one to call "daddy," and lesbian orphans don't exist cuz they have no one to call "mommy."
What is harder than steel?
Michael Jackson in a playground.
Why did the kid go in the guy's van?
Answer: He thought he was being adopted.
We got Spider-Man Homecoming, Spider-Man Far from Home, then Spider-Man No Way Home, considering society’s current state and how shitty 2023 is, the next movie is probably gonna be Spider-Man Homosexual.
Why did the fat rape victim cross the road?
To block traffic.
What do we call a Canadian gay, disciplined cunt?
I have two things I wanna say:
1. When people swear, stop taking it so fucking literally. If someone calls you a bitch, they're not calling you a female dog. If they call you a cunt, they're not calling you a woman's private part, they are calling you either an idiot, scaredy cat/baby, or something along those lines, ffs.
2. wtf
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be Wanted.
Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.
I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.
Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.
What is an orphan’s least favorite song? "We are Family."
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? "Family Guy."
What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? "Meet the Parents."
What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.
Next: Inappropriate Jokes
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.
What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.
Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.
Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?
A teacher wanted to sing, so she did. This is what she said:
"You have no family, even though you're broker than me."
