Society jokes
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away.
Orphan: But why?
Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
Why can't orphans use a phone?
Because they can't find the home button.
Why do orphans have criminal records?
So they can be wanted.
Some kid in a wheelchair called me fat.
I told her, "Do a wheelie!"
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One of them gets picked.
Hey, you know what I told the kid in a wheelchair?
I told him to be a stand-up comedian!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Twins.
Twins who?
Twins go boom boom today on 9/11.
What does a gun and gum have in common?
When you pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.
Who are the quickest readers in the world? 9/11 victims. They went through 34 stories in 4 seconds.
What's Osama Bin Laden's favorite drink?
A double Manhattan.
What's the difference between an orgy and mass suicide?
When exactly my cult members drink the Kool-Aid.
Think about how many more girls we guys could get if we talked to them how we talk to other guys, like when they say, "Can I borrow a pencil?" You say, "You can borrow this hard wood dick."
A depressed kid gave me a high five. I left him hanging.
We don't joke about orphans unless they have family. Then we assassinate the family.
Why will the orphan never say, "Honey, I'm home?"
No one wants him, not even the bees.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
Bring out your weapons, people.
It's bullying time.
If you are going to bully anyone, then bully an orphan, because what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
I'm going to burn Braden Mitchell Kniffen's house down.
Good Lord, any tips on how to kidnap children? I say, "Free candy," and they run.